Why Doesn't my boyfriend want to have sex with me anymore?

Thank you for all the posts and the original question. I am in a long distance relationship. VERY LONG. We live in different countries. When we see each other, he is not interested in sex. Yet he loves holding my hand, wants to go everywhere with me, have me sleep over [no touching except an arm around me sometimes], go out to eat, swimming, movies, work together, everything. But no kissing[making out] pecks are ok, but no foreplay or sex. And he gets REALLY REALLY offended if I try to kiss him. I am ultra sexual female, so this is killing me. When he is at home, we just talk on the phone and do email. its all we have. he wont even do phone sex when i have suggested it. I even said - let me go! i wont even be mad! but he says he wants me and only me - that he finds me attractive and cares about me so much. he just cant combine love and sex. and just doesnt want to screw around with me. and then he also says he has severe chemical depression and is not himself. this is the worst visit ever. i had to beg him crying that he would kiss me or something. he just said i am not being patient, and not understanding that he cant. please help. its especially hard when he turns it back around on me, like im some sort of sexual crazy addict or something. he even said i was acting like a "pig" wanting sex all the time when he doesnt want it at all.

i tried to tell him that it is killing me because i miss him so much, and there are all these rules that i cant touch him. but he has lotions and tissues out, and i know he masturbates. i know he USED to look at ALOT of porn. he said he doesnt anymore. he swears up and down there has never been anyone else. ugh.

and yes, I had the guys baby, but he told me the doctor said he couldnt have kids due to a bad car accident....it wasnt cause I tricked him into the pregnancy. BTW, I'm 44, with a 2 year old and a 22 year old. I got my tubes tied, and was SO excited thinking he and I could have sex just whenever! with no worries about any more pregnancies...when the doctor gave me the ok...my boyfriend did NOT share the same enthusiasm. He used the pregnancy excuse to avoid sex saying he felt strange because the baby was in my tummy and didnt want to hurt me. WELL SHE"S OUT NOW...I wonder if he's noticed?

Yes! I have been through that porn thing with him before....he would sneak and look at porn rather than come to bed with me (me also in the bed...waiting} And, not to brag, but I feel and have been told I'm a sexy woman. So what the hell? I am 44 years old, and in all my experience with men, it never changes! They just cant get enough of looking at nakedness. Him and I came to an agreement, to look at porn together...that worked for awhile. Then he had to mess it up by starting this "getting his" and being too tired to see me through. That was actually the straw that broke the camels back for me. So I stopped everything all together that I know he enjoys....and the WEIRD thing to me is...he doesnt bitch about missing it! so what the heck? I feel like I cannot win, and I would just love to get my GROOVE back, but it isnt happening with him. I see him checking girls out on tv, the internet, in the grocery store, so I know he isnt gay....just selfishly not giving a damn about what would meet my needs, just his own.
It breaks my heart, cause he's such a good father, but I cant stay with him...I'd rather be single, so it doesnt feel so much like REJECTION.

it's good to know i am not the only one.We are both 29. We have been together for 2 years. Our sex life used to be great and now it's nothing but once a month disaster. I think i have heard all the excuses (maybe exept upcoming earthquake). He also says that i am very attractive and he loves me a lot. I can't feel it at all. Yesterday i was waiting for him in our bedroom, hoping for sex .He wanted to go to bed early, but he started searching for things on internet-something work realted, and came to bed late enough. Now i know why-I've just discovered he was watching porn!how bad is that when your girlfriend is waiting for what you prefer to watch on internet??I am really hurt, disappointed , frustrated and don't know what else. For all that cooking, cleaning, washing and ironing shirts-don't I deserve a bit of attention?I told him, that if he thinks i am not the right person it's better to break up rather than find out in the future that he cheats on me. If there's no desire there won't be any , so I am seriously thinking about breaking up. I really love him, but I can't struggle all my life.

Personally, I think alot of men who arent satisifying their women anymore is because of SELFISHNESS. My boyfriend, or should I say, my baby's daddy, would MUCH rather masterbate than be inconvenienced by having to satisify me before he gets "his". Sex in the beginning...great...I am such a sexual person that I didnt see the signs that he liked to receive, more that he ever "gave".I was crazy about him so I turned a blind eye. I am not one of those that take forever either...I can get my orgasm in about 5-10 minutes, but that is still even too long for my selfish boyfriend. I have given up....now if he hints around to get a once every two months quickie....I turn HIM down. We have a baby together, and he works so I can stay at home to care for her, and for this I'm blessed. So, I am back burning my needs right now, and am just SO OVER HIM. Now, I will admit...I masterbate too...and he is nowhere in my fantasies... ;)