Mothers Day 2011 has come and gone. Mother’s Day calendars are traditionally filled with breast cancer awareness and advocacy events and has always been a day on which I join my sisters and other women in running for a breast cancer free future. This year I spent my day dining in town with Mom. I learned that Mother’s Day is the busiest day of the year for restaurants with 40% of Americans abandoning their kitchens for restaurant fare. I also learned that different countries celebrate Mother’s day on different dates - such as the United Kingdom honors Mum’s on the fourth Sunday in March. Whatever the date or the event, Mother’s Day continues to provide a wonderful opportunity to recognize Mom’s, motherhood and express our gratitude. I try to steer clear of the “Hallmark” hoopla but when I received flowers from my two sons, I have to admit I appreciated the day of recognition.
The news coverage leading up to Sunday provided many heartwarming stories. I was particularly touched by a blog written by a woman who grew up without her Mom and the pain of not being able to share her life experiences with her. Like all mother/daughter stories, this story caused me to reflect on my relationship with my own Mom.
My Mom is 89 and we’ve been fortunate to share a lifetime of experiences together. As she battles cancer for the second time, I wondered if Mother’s Day would take on a new meaning for me. Would I want to celebrate as if it were her last? I struggled with how I should make this day seem even more special. I came to the realization that when your Mom’s been diagnosed with cancer - every day you get to share together seems like Mother’s Day. Lesson - don’t wait for the calendar to tell you to buy her a card or send flowers or tell her what a great Mom she’s been. Cancer has a way of making you realize that even if there’s someone out there who calls you Grandma, Mom is still central to who we are - today and forever, physically and emotionally.
Susan Beausang, 4Women.com
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Hi Bonnie,
Thanks for writing. It is so true that we all deal differently with emotions such as fear or grief. Sounds as if your son is maybe unable to confront his fears or perhaps what he perceives to be helplessness with respect to your health conditions. I imagine that if I had not already experienced cancer multiple times in my family, had not already myself undergone major surgeries to reduce my own risk, my ability to emotionally confront what my Mom is going through might not be the same. And I am one of 9 children. I can tell you that among the 9 of us, we are all dealing with my Mom's condition in different ways.
All the best to you. Thanks for sharing.
May 12, 2011 - 5:43amSusan
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Unfortunately there are those who will live with the regrets learning the lesson too late. The ones whom for whatever reason, perhaps not being able to cope with the realities of cancer and just what it means, have choosen to stick their heads in the sand and behave as though nothing has changed.
May 11, 2011 - 2:38pmI have no family aside from my son and daugher. Since my daughter still lives with me, she has unfortunately had to deal with all the day-to-day issues both physically and emotionally. I truly do not know what I would do without her. Unfortunately, my son is one of those people referred to above. One who doesn't want to (or can't) tolerate listening to what is happening with me to the point that I feel like I'm walking on egg shells and have had to severely scale back any specific details at all. It would be nice to know while I'm still alive that he looks forward to my calls and hearing my voice. The time will come however when he wishes he could hear my voice and it will be too late, for both of us.
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Well said-thank you!
May 10, 2011 - 4:14pmThis Comment