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We've been dating for over a yer now but in the last few months our sex has drastically decreased at first started to go down from at least 1-2 times a day for at least 5 months and then it went down to 1-2 times a week and then to 1-2 times a month and now it's been a month and a half since we've had sex. I've read a few articles about this allready, but none seem to fit my problem exactly. I was worried for a while that it might be me that was the problem and but he told me it wasn't and i know he wouldn't lie to me. I've asked him about it but he says theres nothing wrong. I just don't know what to do anymore. He's only a year older than me and he's suppose to be in hes prime. Is there anything I can do? I Haven't pressured him or anything because I dont want him to do it just to shut me up. I want him to want to. and I'm just not satistied anymore and im not asking for everyday, at this point once or twice a week would be nice. A far as I know there's nothing he's stressed about at work or school, could it be a cobination of the 2? or something else going on that I don't know about? and please keep in mind that im am searching for help and advice and I don't want to hear find a new boyfriend. I love him and im not leaving him, even if it means were not going to have sex anymore. But it's frustration for the time being as I find it a tad odd that I want it more than he does. and I don't really want to talk to any of my friends abotu it because I live in a small town and this is personal and I don't need everyone talking about it. and the last thing I want him to feel is embarassed. I havn't told anyone of my friends but I'm in need of some advice. Any Ideas?
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Well what do you have to say for me who does all the cooking, all the cleaning, all the washing, everything? All he has to contribute is food money? It's my house. I know he loves me but i feel so rejected....is it too much to ask to be made love to at least once a week?
December 18, 2009 - 2:35amThis Comment
yes, you did! oh, thank you very much for this contribution! it's not all about us (women), true. however i think it's not healthy for a relationship to have a loving one, but no sex. stress, burden on your shoulder should never be an excuse. you have to make time for sex, and make your environment condusive to it. otherwise, in this hectic world, no one will be having sex! other couples deal with the stress, couples who small children which means the parents don't get enough sleep, but they still make more babies, which means they are having sex. it's just not natural to not have sex in a relationship, no. when you were dating sex is priority, is it no? c'mon don't lie. why when we've settled in a safe relationship, we become lazy and don't think sex is important? We let life's care, and jobs, and other situations to be an excuse not to have sex, or have very little sex. i don't know...i'm still learning as well. your words here mean very much though to us women.
September 20, 2009 - 10:46amThis Comment
i will have sex with you if you like
September 16, 2009 - 3:50pmThis Comment
sound like we all have the same problem i am 32 and he is 26 we have been friends for a very long time and have been together for 3yrs.he just doens't anymore. i have cried and cried. he say it is not me. yeah I think they say that so that we just stop asking. I dont know anmore. I want to cheat but that is not me. all the stuff you hear to do just dont work. amybe i shoudl just get a girlfriend.
September 16, 2009 - 7:25amThis Comment
i have been living with my boyfriend for 7 months. we moved in right away. the sex was amazing all the time. over the past few months it has been horrible non exsistent. maybe every 3 weeks. he says outloud yeah i know we have to have sex. do you know how that makes me feel? i have to admit i have been not going to the gym as much and his actions make me feel less desirable. he told me tonight i dont initiate that is laughable.he just walks away and goes to bed. and i get i love you. i am sick of i love u as and out? what would you do? keep in mind i take care of him and all the bills around here etc!!!!
September 12, 2009 - 10:48pmThis Comment
i have a small penis :(
September 11, 2009 - 12:44pmThis Comment
I am very glad to have discovered that I am not the only, that there are many more woman who have the same issue as I do. I am 22 and my bf is 25 we have been dating for 2yrs and been living together for a year. Like all of you have said, the first yr was the best when our sexual appetite was at its peak, but for the past 5-6 months things have changed we started to have less sex, while in the beginning we were having sex 3-4 times a week, it decreased to 1-2 times a week and now it's been a 6 weeks and we have had ZERO sex, and he doesn't even try to; I even tried to get some but he just wasn't into it. We have talked about the decreased in our sex life and he says that he doesn't want to do it due to religious reasons. He claims to feel guilty after having sex because he has this new found belief that sex should be just between married people. However, I find this reason to be completely ridiculous as we live together and are not married. I know he is not looking at porn and I am 90% he is not cheating on me, I know it seems like I should just leave him, but I love him a lot and he has been my first and only bf and I still want to be with him, I am just really frustrated at the situation. WHy does it suddenly seem like I am the only one interested in having sex? the one who has to do the chasing? It is really annoying and almost makes me wanna give up because I am young and feel that I deserve to have a full and balanced life where my bf loves & cares for me, and has sex with me and doesn't feel guilty cuz we are not married.
September 11, 2009 - 12:43amThis Comment
Ladies, it's actually not that you are overweight or not wearing the correct lingerie, or not attractive anymore. It's more your attitude about yourselves, your self-image. Taking on the blame, assuming it is your declining "looks" or physical attractiveness is a tell-tale sign of a very low self-esteem. At least if you can acknowledge that problem, that is a step forward toward something. That is a place to start. Stop putting the blame on the guy. And looking outward for the problem...The relationship takes two to tango, so you are part of the equation. While our problem we talk about here, is universal, our individual cases are tailor-made to our own issues, hang-ups, problems, history, personalities. So it's of no use comparing ourselves with other couples, or worrying if so and so already solved their problem and if they are gettin' it on in the sack again...no, don't be worried about other people. Just focus on yourselves. We are all different, but at the same time we share similarites.
September 10, 2009 - 3:53pmThis Comment
I AM GOING THROUGH THE SAME TO THE 'tee' PROBLEM. I THINK THEY JUST GET COMFORTABLE. MEN ARE LIKE HUNTERS THEY WANT WHAT THEY CANT HAVE. IF YOU EMAIL ME I WLL ATTACH SOME INFO THAT WILL BLOW YOUR MIND. IT WAS WRITTEN BY ALEXANDREA FOX.
September 8, 2009 - 6:47pm[email protected]
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I am in a relationship where there is alot of stress at work. Long hours and alot of mental work put in. And my boyfriend also has scoliosis of the spine. We have great sex when we do, however, just because there is less sex does NOT mean a cheater! We talk about everything, we know everything about each other and believe me I have been in a cheating relationship and with that one the sex was awesome all the time....so dont necessarily think the worse.
September 8, 2009 - 3:42pmIf the communication is there, the understanding is there, it will work thru.
I do some little things to make him want to have sex, little text messages during the day, when I am certain the stress at work is tremendous, I send a little text.
I also send cards to his work some naughty and some just to let him know what he means to me.
I have turned the tv off after dinner and said okay it's "us" time now.
Face it different than not saying anything at all, or thinking the worse, or forbidden keeping it to yourself.
Communication is the important part in a relationship. Without that you dont have anything to build on.
My boyfriend and I do not live together we are also middle age........I am 45
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