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What should I do?

By January 13, 2017 - 3:08pm

I have been with my spouse for 12 years and for the first 2-3 years I thought her illness would go away. Well, it did not. She suffers from Chron's/Lupus and is always sick, tired and angry. We have two children and I am now convinced that having kids was her goal. Unfortunately, I was the sucker. When we were dating she told me she was college educated, a former Navy Nurse and that her Dad served 3 tours in Vietnam. None of that proved to be true as she does not have a college degree, she failed out of Marine Corps Basic training and her stepdad did not serve three tours in Vietnam. It was all a lie to dupe me and get me to marry her.
I am a college graduate, former Army Officer and thankfully, have been highly successful in my life. The sex and intimacy have been a problem from day one. Stupidly, I just thought things would get better. But, here I am nearly 13 years later and nothing has changed. Now, I'm a priest with pre-teen kids and I absolutely cannot leave my children. I'm trapped, as a priest's marital life is expected to be perfect but mine is a living hell. We have not slept in the same bed in years, sex has been non-existent for years yet, I am expected to put on a happy face as caregiver, husband and father. I miss being loved, touched and appreciated.

Neglected in NC

By February 21, 2017 - 3:05pm

Lies can build terrible resentment. If you're able to resolve and work past them, great! But often that isn't the case if the issues haven't been fully worked through and trust rebuilt. My thought is if you are both unhappy, find a way to co-parent and model healthy living and attachments for your children apart from one another. Staying together for the wrong reasons sets a terrible example for the children and makes everyone miserable. Just my thoughts.

February 21, 2017 - 3:05pm

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