Have you ever heard the expression “men sweat, but women glow?”
Obviously, whoever coined that phrase wasn’t a woman dealing with menopause and night sweats.
Looking back, my night sweats were clearly part of my going through perimenopause in my early 40s. But at the time, neither my physician nor I were making that connection. He believed that it was a side effect of the medications I was taking for irritable bowel syndrome, or IBS.
That sounded reasonable to me, so I didn’t push it. Frankly, I was too tired from all of that bed linen and pajama changing all night long to challenge his diagnosis.
Seriously—I was waking up at least 3 times a night, every single night, drenched in sweat. My pajamas were soaked, as was my pillow case and my sheets. I was sweating so much, the moisture was going all the way through the pad to the mattress.
This happened so often, I actually got pretty good at dealing with it. I began keeping a stack of fresh linens next to my bed, and some spare changes of nightgowns. When I woke up, sweaty and freezing, I could change both myself and the bed without disturbing my husband or leaving the room.
That’s the other part about night sweats that’s really miserable—the chills that accompany them.
Speaking of my husband, in case you are wondering, we have the type of bed that has two separate top mattresses, so he was able to sleep through my nighttime maneuvers. Of course, he could sleep through a train coming through our bedroom. Do I sound upset? Well, yes, but that’s another blog.
No one really had any advice for me on how to make things better. I figured night sweats were just something I had to live with.
When I was 42, I underwent my hysterectomy. That’s when the hot flashes began to kick in.
Actually, I called them “power surges,” the way the waves of heat would come at me at about 100 miles per hour. By this time, I was taking other medicines—hormones and other things—that were supposed to help my body regulate itself after the surgery.
After months of suffering, I finally saw a wonderful Tucson physician who helped me get on the correct hormone medications. One was a compounded testosterone cream that was just amazing and the other was an FDA-approved estrogen-based gel—once I began to use it on a regular basis the night sweats stopped, and the hot flashes went away.
That’s when it all began to make sense to me. My night sweats weren’t side effects—they were symptoms! Symptoms of a common and normal change in women’s hormonal levels, and something that should have been totally treatable all along.
One day, I heard some horrible news—the drug company Wyeth was trying to stop compounding hormonal medication. That was just the beginning as far as I was concerned. No one was going to take my compounded testosterone cream away from me. I decided right then to fight Wyeth and the Food and Drug Administration over this decision.
During this time, I was asked to do my first radio show that would be syndicated to other stations all over the world. I sat on the floor of my home, surrounded by dozens of note cards, hoping I had prepared enough to do the interview.
Finally, the program started, and I found myself speaking with the young man who was hosting the show. Right off the bat he said to me “So, I understand that you have hot flashes and night sweats. What are you going to do, have every woman send their sweaty nighties to the FDA in retaliation, or maybe your empty prescription bottles?”
The heat I felt then wasn’t from a hot flash or night sweat—it was from the anger rising up in my throat. I felt humiliated and embarrassed by his flippant remark.
I managed to reply to him that no, we were certainly not going to mail anyone our sweat-soaked pajamas, and that in fact, my battle with Wyeth had nothing to do with nighties, sweaty or not.
Sadly, this young man is probably far from alone. I fear that many men just don’t get it, or understand it, or think that night sweats or hot flashes are no big deal. And some of these are physicians who are supposed to be treating us.
When the show ended, the host told me that his own Mom also suffered from night sweats. I told him quite candidly that if this was the case, then he needed to be more empathetic and change his tone when discussing the topic.
I’d like to think that this was a turning point for him, but I’m not really sure. Maybe if his Mom took his advice and mailed him her sweaty nightie sometime (and the bed sheets too!) he might start to get it.
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Add a Comment7 Comments
The way you talk about men not carng about your night sweats is bullshit.
My boyfriend has night sweats that keeps him from our bed just the same as you. Your vagina doesn't make you special. Stop wearing it as a badge of honor being a woman is no harder than being a man. You want equality call yourself equal. I'm sorry for your sweats but it isn't just a women's problem so get of your pedastool.
May 29, 2017 - 6:38amThis Comment
Menopause normally starts around our mid-40’s though to our early 50’s and studies suggest that night sweats are a problem for as much as 75% of menopausal women. Ill share an article that talks about menopause symptoms and treatment http://bioidentical-testosterone.com/night-sweats-in-women/
February 3, 2015 - 9:54amThis Comment
My husband has more night sweats than I do. He's fighting a cancer that makes him anemic and the bedsheets end up with a pink-hue. He is in remission now from the cancer but still struggles with the sweats. I'm glad I didn't hear that snobbish talk show host with his less-than-sympathetic question. My menopausal symptoms have been light--I also drink soy milk or soy lattes several times during the week. I think this is an awful condition that deserves, at least, respect. Anyone who has to get up several times during the night to urinate or because of pain, can understand that this is no joking matter. Thanks for the post. Linda
September 11, 2010 - 6:49amThis Comment
Until you have a night sweat, you won't believe a single thing someone tells you about it.
April 15, 2010 - 5:23amHot is hot but a cold glass of water can set you right except you'll be up to go to the bathroom a short time later. UGH!
This Comment
Menopause symptoms like nights sweats, fatigue, mood swings and weight gain are painful for many women but can be treated with a holistic approach like the right diet, vitamins, natural estrogen, acupuncture and exercise.
April 9, 2010 - 12:36pm(Commercial link removed by moderator.)
This Comment
Interesting article on hormone imbalance! I know of a great website which promotes a medical group. This group provides adrenal fatigue syndrome therapy. Also treatment is provided for fibromyalgia, neurological illnesses and complex endocrine dysfunction.
October 22, 2009 - 2:17amThis Comment
Night sweats area problem many menopausal women face. Wicking pajamas provide much comfort to many women because they keep you cool and dry at night...so no more waking up every hour because the fabric pulls the moisture away from the body and dries quickly.
October 23, 2008 - 10:56amThis Comment