Many women think that the main ingredient of a good sex is love. Is it really so? Do tenderness and affection increase the attraction, or, conversely, decrease it?
Do we need to love our partner to have a good sex? Many women are used to say: “I love my husband, but our sex is not too hot.” The others say that they experience the most intense pleasure only with casual partners. However, is it a desire to experiment and feel open-minded and liberated, or actually an attempt to hide from love, to keep it at a distance?
Why some women avoid being in relationships with one partner
The truth is that many women are afraid of becoming emotionally attached to a partner because this makes them feel dependent and therefore distracted. In an attempt to avoid feelings, some women prefer to consider a man as an impersonal instrument of pleasure.
However, sexologists argue that a real orgasm is not just a sexual release; it depends on the degree of trust between the partners, their openness and ability to share the emotional response. So, sex without love is possible, but does it bring a real pleasure?
Alison Beaver in her article How to Get What You Want Out of Sex claims that the greatest predictor of sexual satisfaction is positive feelings about the overall relationship. That means that the emotional part of sex is a crucial one. However, how to avoid the risks?
Avoid affection
Every woman knows how it feels when you think that you have found an ideal sexual partner, and eventually you understand that he gained a complete control over your life. Most of the people find it hard to deal with the emotions of that kind.
However, if the genuine pleasure is impossible without love, and love is the fear of addiction, how to find a way out of this vicious circle? The simplest advice is to avoid extremes and just try to find a comfort zone in the every situation.
A risk to unlock a heart
We try to be attractive for our partners and avoid showing our negative sides. Sometimes we lose our real selves in this rush of hearts and flowers. We all know that feelings are always in motion, and no one can guarantee their permanence. However, the real victory is opening your heart despite the fear to be forsaken.
Changing partners, many people simply run away from love, because they afraid to feel the pain of a breakup.
Communication
In the modern society sex without love is not a dispraise. Sex without commitment is possible when both agree that their relationships will last for some time, not forever. That does not mean that they do not feel anything towards each other.
Experiencing a situation where one of the partner’s expectations does not match the intentions of the other is more difficult. For example, a woman hopes to develop lasting relationships and a man assumes a limited number of meetings.
The dissatisfaction grows when the situation is unclear. Therefore, it is important to discuss your plans. This does not violate the romance. Mature people should know how to ask the most serious questions carefully and tactfully. If two people realize in what kind of relationship they are if both are open to dialogue, then they are able to experience the most unforgettable moments of pleasure together.
About the author:
Heather Davie is a freelance writer and blogger, has a practice in essay writing service. Finished Adelphi University in NY. She writes on completely varied themes at vast numbers of websites and companies. Guides students for performing high level academic assignments.
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Add a Comment4 Comments
Im 29 and never had sex with someone I love. Somehow when I do love someone sex is the very last thing I think about or would like to do.
January 2, 2016 - 2:29amThis Comment
I think exist a wide variety of feelings about this thing. I never did before today anything without love or loving my partner, but now I decide to have sex with someone who I do not love. I think that every woman should try it. Bcz it´s the only way you can realize what is the answer for You, even when each answer is completely different depending on what are your own rules for your LIFE. Everything can change, and I think that we, as women, are not ready for having sex without love, just only because We have grown in this Society where MEN wrote the rules and We learn that to Love is our best option. By natural we have ALL the mechanism for to deeply enjoy sex with any man, but only when We as woman decide it, because we can not forget the important relation that exist between our heart and our brain. All the Best!
April 5, 2015 - 3:56amThis Comment
I felt much the same as Maryann, but after my husband of 15 years and I divorced, I embraced my newfound freedom, and the relationship possibilities that came with it. I did also find that, much the opposite of popular fare, that I was more comfortable in myself, and I enjoy sex even more now than I ever did when I was younger. While I do find that trust and some emotional attraction are really key to a great experience, orgasm itself is not dependent upon it, and fairy tale forever love and commitment is definitely not required... for me anyway. ;)
February 19, 2015 - 3:45pmThis Comment
Hello Heather,
After reading your article, I asked myself the question, "Does good sex without the emotional and long term commitment apply to only younger people?"
My husband and I have been together for 30 years and endured many hardships. Because of who I am, I never have nor would I ever consider having a relationship with the only goal being good sex.
I am not passing judgement, just find the concept foreign.
Regards,
October 21, 2014 - 9:08amMaryann
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