Many of us who hear the bad news “you have cancer,” are also surprised by how many people turn away from us. Those who we had thought were our best friends, or who would help us to the end suddenly won't return phone calls. We discover that the word “cancer” is a powerfully frightening thing in our society, and people do not always react the way we expect.
Yet, sometimes people come through for you in spectacular ways. Have you ever had a room full of people applaud you? Well, maybe you are a famous movie star, or a motivational speaker, or community theater actor and applause is part of your world. But, I never have had that experience, nor expected to.
I have been off work for five weeks, recovering from a liver resection done for metastatic breast cancer. My place of business, which happens to be a high school, was putting on their customary yearly Thanksgiving Feast. It's very rare that the entire staff, from custodian to principal, have time to sit down together. All of us work for the benefit of kids in one form or another, but rarely do we join together. This was one of those times, and I decided I'd go say hi.
When I walked into the room, unexpectedly since I'd told nobody I was coming, all the people sitting down to their Thanksgiving meal – all 100 of them - burst into spontaneous applause. Loud, lengthy, extended clapping. For me.
I knew then, that I was home.
These people had been unusually supportive considering I've only been working at this school for a year. They took up a collection and gave me enough money so that my family could stay in a hotel for a few days while I had surgery in a different city. Then, when I came home, they took turns and brought me meals – wonderful things so while I was recovering, my family could eat. I didn't have to cook (or eat take-out) for weeks. And flowers, I even got flowers, sometimes left on my doorstep. A little gift to show I was not forgotten.
I have found support from relatives and friends, but like all cancer patients, have found some who have turned away, unable to look. Rather than let that hurt, it's important to realize support can come in the most unlikely places and for unlikely reasons. You may have that relative or former best friend who never calls you again. Cancer does that to some people. Mourn it and let it go.
Then remember: family is where you make it and support comes in many forms. Find your own and enjoy the applause.
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Add a Comment89 Comments
I love reading your blog, Ann. You are a wonderful writer, with a great sense of humor. Hope you win this contest.
November 19, 2011 - 8:35amThis Comment
You are a real inspiration! What a blessing to have such great co-workers.
November 19, 2011 - 8:10amThis Comment
I am joining in on the virtual applause!!
November 19, 2011 - 7:38amThis Comment
Another example of recognizing an island of good in the choppy sea of cancer life. Well done.
November 19, 2011 - 7:29amThis Comment
What a stunning moment that must have been for you Ann! Congratulations, you deserve every ounce of respect and recognition that you get! Thank you for sharing your story, it makes my journey so much more bearable just knowing how many of us are collectively fighting and winning this battle.
November 19, 2011 - 1:03amTake care, and may you continue to recover so well!
Jules :)
This Comment
Applause? Awesome! And all for an amazing lady. I have found my greatest support in the world of breast cancer bloggers. They are a phenomenal group of people; they always understand what I'm going through and never mind my rants. I cannot say that about most people in my "real" life.
November 18, 2011 - 11:44pmThis Comment
What a touching, poignant story, Ann. I am so glad that you found out something most of us never realize -- how much we really matter to the people in our lives. There's a lesson in this that we need to let people know how much they mean to us more often. xoxo
Kathi, The Accidental Amazon
November 18, 2011 - 11:20pmThis Comment
What a touching story and if I'd been in the room, I'd have been applauding right along with everyone else!
November 18, 2011 - 10:31pmThis Comment
Ann,
November 18, 2011 - 10:23pmI just am delighted to read this! I really can't think of anyone more deserving of a standing applause right now. You have completely restored my faith in humanity again by sharing that there ARE wonderful people out there that have shown you so much support and love. How great to have only worked there a year, yet already so loved by your "work family". But then again, it doesn't surprise me after reading your blog for the past 18 months. I could tell from the first one what a true spark plug you are. You have helped me more then you will ever know. I found you while sitting by my partner's bedside after she had endured a 19 hour surgery. I felt like our world was crumbling and that it was the start of the end. Your stories, humor and down to earth reasoning gave me strength and hope that she would survive this...and inspired me to put some humor into the experience. It worked like magic! She is still fighting the fight ...but hopping over every hurdle like she is the star of the track team. I can never thank you enough....keep sharing and inspiring :)
This Comment
My own cancer journey has been and remains a largely anonymous one, by my choice, but thanks be to everyone who supports anyone in her need....
November 18, 2011 - 9:36pmThis Comment