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Well when i was a teenager i started drinking at a very young age and i had allot of problems when i was younger cutting,depression. So when i got sick of doing all that harm to myself i was just so sick of feeling pain in all these ways. So one day i seen a liquor bottle and it made me feel such a feeling of release from just looking at it. Then i had some and it made me feel like a million bucks. Then i started to do that for a while until i found out that doctors know when you are drinking so i got scared and never picked up a bottle again. Problem is i am 24 years old know and each time i get upset or angry or nervous liquor is what i turn to and its getting worse and worse. My boyfriend cheated on me and that is exactly when i went haywire i started drinking and drinking until it hurt (literally) i started to feel burning in my chest and i actually felt good about it because i do not know its just when i was drinking all that it made me feel like it was hurting him. I do not know how to explain the feeling its just a i don't care feeling its like relief. What should i do
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Thank you, I will do that i realize the destruction path i am on can harm me more than i thought.
January 1, 2011 - 1:55amThis Comment
Batricia - Thanks for sharing your story and being so honest. It sounds like you've been in pain for many years and have been trying many different things to ease that pain, and that you also realize what you're doing is self-destructive and not good for you. It's good that you're reaching out for help as continuing on the path you're on is going to hurt you even more, and could even be fatal.
You need to gain the help, support and encouragement that can only be provided by someone who's been trained to help people who are depressed to the point that they are choosing self-destructive measures instead of avenues that will ease the pain and lead to a healthier, happier life. I'm going to therefore recommend that you call one of the counselors at the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. Don't let the name discourage you - this is a free resource for anyone who is in crisis, which you clearly are, and you need help as soon as possible. They will help anyone who is feeling desperate, alone or hopeless.
Call the Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)- it's free, confidential and available 24-hours a day for those with serious emotional distress. They will route your call to the nearest crisis center to you and help you to move forward with your life in constructive ways.
While you may momentarily feel you are hurting someone else by drinking you are only hurting yourself. It's time to now help yourself instead. Please call this number and let us hear from you again after you do. You may also want to consider joining a local support organization such as Alcoholics Anonymous so that you won't be alone as you go forward and work on your new life in the new year.
Good luck to you!
December 31, 2010 - 4:18pmPat
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