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For a great portion of history, anal sex has been considered somewhat of a taboo activity. There are urban myths attached to its consequences and even biblical references to its sinful nature! But why? Sure, there are some things that you must keep in mind when engaging in anal play, but what has made it such a no-no in our social consciousness? After all, your butt is just another body part – and one that happens to have some extremely concentrated pleasure nerves! Definitely worth getting to know better…
I wanted to write this article in an attempt to begin a conversation that uncovers some of the mysteries, breaks down the stigmas surrounding anal sex for women and provide some resources for you to investigate on your own.
But first, a big disclaimer! Anal sex, (like EVERY form of intimacy) should only be practiced between consenting individuals. There is nothing sexy about forcing, threatening, or cajoling a partner into doing something he/she does not want to do. New positions and acts that one or both people are hesitant to take part in should always be prefaced, punctuated by and followed up with conversation.
Being Anal About Anal Sex:
1. Use a condom. Again – use a condom. Your anus is more prone to tearing than your vagina is, which allows for easier transmission of infection and disease (Think: HIV/AIDs and Sexually Transmitted Infections!). Even if you are in a committed relationship with someone you know to be disease-free, a condom is recommended, as it will improve efforts to maintain cleanliness and lubrication. Similarly, if you are using a strap-on or dildo, you should use a condom to prevent transmission of infection via the shared toy. Remember that even when using a condom, no sexual intercourse is risk free and anal sex is associated with some especially high risks.
(Read more at: http://www.fda.gov/forconsumers/byaudience/forpatientadvocates/hivandaidsactivities/ucm126372.htm )
2. Use some form of water-based lube because your anus, unlike your vagina, does not produce its own lubricant. The added moisture will facilitate entry, prevent tearing and enhance pleasure.
(Read more at: http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/3426.html)
3. Only use a toy that has a flared bottom. The anus naturally contracts and “sucks up” whatever is put inside it and unlike the vagina, there is no natural barrier or end point to the cavity. This is great if it is a penis, strap-on, finger, anal beads with a handle or toy that’s bottom is wider than the top, but anything that can’t easily be gripped runs the risk of getting stuck inside the anal cavity – an embarrassing doctor’s visit, to say the least.
(Read more at: http://www.theadulttoyshoppe.com/anal-sex-toys-guide.htm)
4. Anal sex is not something you want to try on a whim or as a quickie. Because of the way the anus is structured, you have to stretch the orifice, slowly increasing the size of the object that you penetrate with in order to prevent tearing. Time spent stretching and readying the hole is crucial and can be a really great form of foreplay.
(Read more at: http://sexsecrets.wordpress.com/2007/12/07/10-steps-to-great-first-time-...)
5. It is recommended that you empty your bowels (poop!) within 1.5 hours before attempting anal play. Not only will this enhance pleasure and allow for more space in the anal cavity, but it will also help to assuage the worry that when your partner pulls out, you will accidentally make a mess.
(Read more at: http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sexandrelationships/analsex.htm)
6. Take extra precautions for cleanliness; the anus is not naturally a clean part of your body and doesn’t have the same self-cleaning properties that your vagina does. Contact with any of the bacteria that lives in feces can cause infection if it is then introduced to your vagina or other vulnerable openings (ex: mouth). This means you must wash whatever penetrating object is used before again using it for vaginal penetration. Many people also feel most comfortable with anal play just after taking a shower.
(Read more at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Safe_sex#Sex_toys)
7. RELAX! Mentally AND physically! You have to believe that it feels good if you want to truly enjoy yourself! On a related note, sometimes anal just won’t work for you. That is perfectly normal. Continue experimenting to find a position that will push your buttons in all the right ways.
(Read more at: http://www.sextherapyinphiladelphia.com/anal_sex__anal_stimulation.htm)
Any other tips? Feel free to comment below. And stay tuned for an upcoming article on WHY anal sex can feel AWESOME for women.
Reviewed July 12, 2011
by Michele Blacksberg R.N.
Add a Comment15 Comments
I feel anal is something i do thats pleasurable for me and my hubby. I have a big butt for a white girl and my husband loves anal. We have 4 play then he works his magic. It does hurt sometimes and gets uncomfortable but then he makes fingers me and i can relax again. I LOVE IT
March 19, 2012 - 1:41pmThis Comment
I'd also like to mention that HPV can be transmitted to the anal area without penetration. Even utilizing one's fingers for vaginal stimulation and then stimulating the anus or anal area the virus can easily be spread. With penetration and especially with the missionary style, secretions tend to "leak" from the vagina and pool below in the anal area, another way the virus can be carried to that area. From what I am aware of an orgasm anally can be far more intense than a vaginal orgasm - as an aside.
July 30, 2011 - 11:43amThis Comment
This article seems to equate anal sex with penetration by a penis or a penis analog. In my opinion it would be appropriate to discuss a wider variety of practices, many of which are capable of producing significant pleasure for participants with, apparently, fewer health-related concerns and -- for some -- less social and emotional baggage.
July 30, 2011 - 7:22amThis Comment
Exactly!!!
September 23, 2015 - 5:56amThis Comment
Where can I get a penis anal log? I'd like to try one of those!
September 16, 2011 - 10:40amThis Comment
Thanks very much for your comment - you are absolutely right. This article is written about anal penetration with a penis or similarly shaped toy - only one option in the world of anal. In my follow-up article I tried to expand the discussion to a wider range of anal play pleasure - I would love to hear your opinion on that post!
Very best!
July 30, 2011 - 7:51amhannah
This Comment
It's interesting (as shown by the comments above) how someone can be so against anal sex yet has probably never given a second thought to performing oral sex - how hypocritical.
On the issue of STI's however HPV (human papillomavirus) is far more likly to be contracted than AIDS. Affecting approximately 80% of the population, HPV usually has no symptoms which can result in diagnosis coming late and I think we all know that the earlier any condition is diagnosed the more likely for a better outcome. The HPV virus has been shown to cause genital warts which often occur around the anus whether you have had anal sex or not and wearing a condom can only reduce the risk so far.
Any sexually active adult should discuss HPV with their doctor. There is a vaccine available for both men and women up to age 26. HPV is responsible for 99.9% of cervical cancers and effects almost half a million women annally across the globe.
Sexual intimacy between two loving and consenting adults is not something to be ashamed about and it is the lack of education in others which results in the judgmental attitudes we see in society.
July 28, 2011 - 10:22amThis Comment
Thank you very much for this informative and sensitive comment - I really appreciate your point on oral sex. Furthermore, HPV is a huge health concern AND a preventable one that we should all be aware of! We need people like you to keep us informed and remind us to be open/non-judgmental of others!
Best,
July 28, 2011 - 11:03amHannah
This Comment
It's interesting (as shown by the comments above) how someone can be so against anal sex yet has probably never given a second thought to performing oral sex - how hypocritical.
On the issue of STI's however HPV (human papillomavirus) is far more likly to be contracted than AIDS. Affecting approximately 80% of the population, HPV usually has no symptoms which can result in diagnosis coming late and I think we all know that the earlier any condition is diagnosed the more likely for a better outcome. The HPV virus has been shown to cause genital warts which often occur around the anus whether you have had anal sex or not and wearing a condom can only reduce the risk so far.
Any sexually active adult should discuss HPV with their doctor. There is a vaccine available for both men and women up to age 26. HPV is responsible for 99.9% of cervical cancers and effects almost half a million women annally across the globe.
Sexual intimacy between two loving and consenting adults is not something to be ashamed about and it is the lack of education in others which results in the judgmental attitudes we see in society.
July 28, 2011 - 10:22amThis Comment
Hanna:
This is a GREAT article!!!! Nice Job.
July 27, 2011 - 11:12amThis Comment