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No sex or marriage question is too embarrassing because it’s time to ask EmpowHer’s sexuality expert Dr. Marty Klein, anything.
Okay, here is an interesting question. “Dear Dr. Klein, my husband wants me to dress really sexy, actually kind of trashy, when we go out with his friends, but you know, I am just not comfortable with that. What should I do? He really is pushy about it.”
Dr. Marty Klein:
Well, you certainly should not wear something that you feel is trashy if you don’t want to wear something that you feel is trashy. I guess you could tell your husband how pleased you are that he thinks you are so attractive and you can enjoy the fact that your husband wants to show you off in front of his friends.
So, now you need to figure out, with your husband, what are your limits? You need to talk to him not so much about what you don’t want to do; talk to him about what you are willing to do. Are you willing to wear something with low cleavage? Are you willing to wear, you know, higher heels than you might normally do, as long as you are not walking a lot, right? What exactly are you willing to do?
And let him know that you are perfectly fine with his friends looking at you and telling him what a lucky fellow his is, and also let him know exactly how you feel when you are wearing stuff that you feel is trashy. He may not realize. You know, most guys aren’t in a position where they are asked to dress trashy, so we don’t know how uncomfortable it feels, you know, to actually do that when you don’t want to.
So explain to him that when you wear stuff that you feel is trashy in public, you know, you feel like everybody is looking at you and you feel cheap and you feel like people maybe think bad things about you and you don’t want his friends to feel like you are coming on to them.
So, I am sure that your husband doesn’t want you to feel really uncomfortable. He just will be surprised to hear how you feel when you wear that kind of trashy stuff.
So, I think what you need here is a combination of letting him know what you are willing to do and, you know, maybe you want to invite him to help you pick stuff out of your own drawer before you go out, which will be fun for both of you, and also letting him know how you feel, how uncomfortable you feel if you were to dress the way that he wants you to. And I think between the two, if he is a half very reasonable guy, I think that will solve the problem.