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Ten Things I’d Love to Tell My Younger Self

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I’ve learned some valuable things about life, love and being female over the past half century. Here is the advice I try to pass on to younger women in my life (family and friends) in the hope that it will save them some precious time:

1. You are at least ten times prettier than you think you are.

That holds true no matter how pretty you already think you are! Don’t believe me? Ask your mother/auntie/grannie if she thought she was pretty when she was twenty. She’ll say no. Then find a photo of her at that age. See what I mean?

2. The only thing you should be faking is confidence.

If you don’t have it yet, pretend you do. In every new situation, pretend you’re not nervous; pretend you’re not afraid. After a few times doing this, the pretend part disappears.

3. Want to try something new like painting, skiing or running your own business? Go to the library and borrow ten different books on the subject.

Skim through them all, find the ones that have the most vital information and study them. Then see number two.

4. No matter how old you get, remember what it was like to be a 9-year-old girl.

Remember the feeling of freedom. If you’ve already forgotten, do a cartwheel. You can so still do one. Savor that feeling. Wake up with it every day. You’ll stay young until the day you die.

5. In the same vein, cut or potted flowers are never a waste of money.

Because every time we glance at them, they remind us how much beauty there can be in the world.

6. Speaking of money, starting right this moment, whether you’re twenty or sixty, you can change your finances around.

Don’t leave someone else completely in charge, whether it’s your husband, partner, parents or banker. Become financially savvy. Financial independence gives you the freedom to walk away from many bad situations. How do you know you’re in bad situation? See number seven.

7. If your stomach hurts and you haven’t got a virus, you’re in a bad situation.

Before you know what it is, your stomach always does. Give yourself some time to ponder what it might be that’s making your stomach hurt. Chances are you already do know, you just don’t want to believe it, for some reason. You can ignore advice from your friends, even your own brain, but you can’t ignore your stomach, because the stomach never lies. Oh, and by the way — drowning your stomach in alcohol won’t make it stop telling you the truth, either.

8. When meeting someone new and he or she seems to be behaving badly, show compassion first.

If after you display your sincere compassion, they are still acting badly, walk away. If they follow you, call the police.

9. Wear sunscreen on your face, neck and hands every day, winter and summer.

I don’t care how dark your skin naturally is. Wear it. You’ll remember me when you look in the mirror at age fifty. Always keep in mind that Your body is directly connected to your spirit. Look after your body. Exercise, floss and brush your teeth. Put nothing in your body that can permanently harm your spirit, including the wrong man.

10. And if you are in bed with a man and he's the right man:

... meaning your stomach doesn’t hurt, he’s smiling at you, he knows your name, he’s not drunk, and neither are you — for godsakes — enjoy yourself. He is not at all thinking about how fat your thighs look.

By Patricia Volonakis Davis of Harlots' Sauce.

Originally published on VibrantNation.

Link to article: http://www.divinecaroline.com/22191/73249-ten-things-i-d-love-tell

Add a Comment8 Comments

EmpowHER Guest

I'd like to thank you sincerely for posting my blog "Ten Things" . I'm so glad you found it valuable. It was originally titled, "From An Older Woman to a Younger One" It's always a good feeling when someone gets something out of something I write.

With many thanks,
Patricia V. Davis

April 11, 2010 - 1:49pm
EmpowHER Guest

I would like to than Empowher for posting my article. It was very nice to see it here, particularly with all the wise comments from other women posted after it.

Patricia Volonakis Davis

August 6, 2009 - 4:55pm

This is great! I would tell my younger self not to sleep with men who don't respect you. I did that FAAAR too much and now that I am in love with a good man, I know that it was just a matter of waiting for the right one. I would tell myself never to let a man take advantage, never to drunk dial and never to go for a man just because he is good looking.
And now I have a gorgeous man who is also kind, sweet and generous. I was afraid when I was younger that Mr. right didn't exist. I would tell myself that indeed he does!
Confidence is a big one too! I should have been SOOOO confident being artistic and having lots going for me...this post reminds me to be confident now while I AM still young!

July 7, 2009 - 12:11am
EmpowHER Guest

If only I would have listened to the advice of my mother and grandmother to enjoy my youth lol. I would also tell myself
Be your true self always. Don't try to be someone else to impress others because someday your true self is gonna come out and no one will recognize you anymore, or you'll fall into a depression struggling to keep up with the fake person on the outside.

July 6, 2009 - 9:58pm

I'm "Auntie Al" to my niece and nephews, the crazy "Auntie Mame" type who'll race around the house on my knees playing games with the youngest, teach them about elephant controls (effluent controls) and build mountains of Lego contraptions. I have always believed that, if you lose touch with the child in yourself, you can't really be in touch with your children or grandchildren. Or, maybe I've just always wanted to have fun, who knows.

Continuous learning keeps the little gray cells healthy.

Independence is a good thing, especially for women and their money. During my former career as an investment banker, I held many a seminar on that topic.

Something I've never figured out is what I want to be when I grow up; there are just too many things out "there" to do or learn to do.

But, I won't be jumping out of any airplanes after Susan any time soon, LOL!

July 6, 2009 - 4:27pm

Thank you! I enjoyed reading this. What a good way to start off the week!!

July 6, 2009 - 10:25am

I love this. Love it. Love it.

If I could talk to my younger self, I'd add:

11. Don't worry so much what other people are going to think. They usually aren't thinking about you anyway.

July 6, 2009 - 10:02am
EmpowHER Guest

Very sage advice!

July 6, 2009 - 9:27am
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