Staying Strong

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Today is Memorial Day 2009. Normally, I would be out of town, on a lake somewhere, hanging at the poolside, barbequing with friends and enjoying the day off. This year was different. Instead, I spent the entire day sleeping. The few times I was awake was when my phone rang. I didn’t leave my bed the entire day. Thanks to Wes, I was still on schedule to take my meds, staying somewhat hydrated and getting needed items here and there. My body ached just walking to the bathroom.

This morning, I had a temperature of a little over 100 degrees. By nighttime, my temperature had risen to over 102 degrees. I have a magnet that I keep on the fridge that I received from my oncologist of specific times to call the doctor or go to the ER. I had five of the items on the checklist. The only thing I kept thinking was that it would take so much energy to go to the hospital and my body just couldn’t take moving anywhere. I decided to wait to see if my temperature goes down tomorrow. If not, then I’ll be taking another trip to St. Joe's ER. I am concerned because I have had a stomach issue that started last Thursday and has continued until now. The Oncologist told me that the fever could represent some sort of infection and could be something serious.

I was talking with Wes today and I was just telling him how I miss my old life. I miss the fast-paced lifestyle that I used to live. I miss planning for the future. I miss being intimate. I REALLY MISS driving! I miss eating a meal without having to give myself a shot in my stomach or taking a cupful of pills. I miss working out and doing pilates and yoga at the Village. I miss being able to go to Postino's and having a couple of glasses of wine without worrying if I am going to wake up the next day. There are many, many things that I miss about my life prior to lung cancer. That’s why I hope as you read this you don’t take for granted all of the wonderful, daily things that seem simple.

Now, I don’t want you to think I am trying to throw myself a pity party, because there are things in my new life that I truly appreciate. I also know that life is not always easy and it’s these obstacles that make us stronger and help to build character (at least that’s what I’ve been told). I have been truly blessed to have such a great support system around me. I have had friends and family come to town that took time out of their schedule to take care of me - since my whole family and some close friends live out of state, it has been great spending quality time with them. I have been told my some that I am the strongest person they know - hence the name, “Spirited Warrior” (details to come). I don’t think I’m necessarily strong, but because of the support system I have around me all of the time, I have become strong.

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.