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That’s what my life is centered around, right now - searching for some energy. My pain is controlled except for some mild discomfort in my left hip when I’m walking around on it. Occasional mild nausea is controlled easily with medication. I just can’t get past feeling like someone hooked up a giant vacuum and sucked absolutely everything out of me.
I’ve decided to beg off that last chemo treatment that we had scheduled for December 1st before the scan on December 8th. I felt so poorly after the last one that I’d rather just get the scan and make a decision about further treatment when we see what disease is doing. I know I keep saying this is coming and then putting it off, but the rapid progression of the weakness and fatigue over the last month makes me feel like both total disability and Hospice will be fully in the picture by the end of the year.
Honestly, I don’t even know how to describe the weakness. How can it take so much out of me just to sit down to the computer and compose a post? Take a shower? Walk across the room - not to mention going up a flight of stairs? Can the tumor really be stealing so much from me metabolically? I guess so. But I really don’t like it. Finally, after all this time, I’m finding myself sad and angry at the same time with nothing to do but whatever the disease allows me that day.
One day at a time.
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Melissa,
November 19, 2009 - 5:28pmMy mother was digagnosed with type 4 lung cancer last monday. She also says that the most debilitating thing is the loss of energy. We both Empathize with you.
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Hi Anon - Thanks for writing, and for supporting your mother as she deals with lung cancer. Please let us know if we can help you, or her, during her treatment. Best wishes to both of you.
November 19, 2009 - 6:21pmTake good care,
Pat
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Hi Lisa - I'm sorry to hear how fatigued you are, and how frustrating the situation has become. I can understand why the energy drain is so hard to describe as it's something you haven't experienced before, and that none of us is really prepared to handle. As you said, it's one day at a time right now.
November 19, 2009 - 5:26pmPerhaps it would help to whittle down your "to do" list and try to savor all of the accomplishments you're making right now. Do you have a support system such that you could ask others to help with some of the tasks? If friends know what will help you out, they're more likely to be there for you, and there's no reason not to ask. If you need to develop a support system, or find some resources, let us know so we can do the research for you.
Thanks so much for writing. I know it took a lot of your energy to do that, and it's going to help others. We wish you only the best.
Take good care,
Pat
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