Groundhog Day - Back to the Hospital

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It seems that no matter what I do, I am destined to stay here at the hospital. Yesterday I was discharged mid morning. Megan and I got home and literally passed out from exhaustion. The day was spent doing low key activities, nothing too strenuous. Last night I was in the garage organizing things and my back started hurting. It came on hard and fast. As the night went on, the pain turned into a dull ache.

I woke up this morning and was barely able to lift my left arm because my back hurt so badly. It is a pain that sits somewhere between my shoulder blades and on top of my left shoulder blade. It literally feels like I broke or fractured something again.

In fact, as I was taking a shower this morning, I couldn’t even move the left side of my body. I had to get Megan to lift the towel to put over my damp hair because the weight of the towel was too much. We called the care manager and they recommended we come to CTCA to get it checked out through the internal medicine clinic. So once again, we packed a couple of items and headed back to CTCA in Goodyear.

I had 6 X-rays done, examining everything from my vertebrae to my chest. At first the doc thought that it was the lung collapse that had come back. I started panicking…there was no way I was going to have to go through getting the chest tube put in again unless I was completely sedated. Luckily, Dr. Edibayu (pain doctor, and anesthesiologist) came by and examined me.

He seemed to think it didn’t have much to do with my chest, but more to do with my vertebrae with the pain radiating out to my shoulder blades. It could be a new met. In this case, it would make sense to be admitted to keep the pain under control through the pain pump where I can self administer dilaudid as needed. Meanwhile, I would have an MRI done to take a closer look. Thankfully, the nurse was able to give me Adavan to help sedate me for the MRI.

I should have some sort of answer tomorrow on the MRI and any findings. This will determine how we will move forward. If they don’t find anything but another met, then they will most likely adjust my medication again. That really sucks! We had just seemed to find the formula that worked for me to manage the pain without being completely doped up.

I am hoping if they do change things they don’t add more methadone. I am already taking 40 milligrams three times daily. I want to be able to have a quality of life where I can remember things, drive, be independent, and not feel pain.

It’s just so frustrating that I have to be here again! I was just discharged less than 24 hours ago. If I remember correctly, this happened to me not too long ago. Megan is leaving on Saturday, so I will be here by myself the whole weekend if they want me to stay through Monday. Gina went home to Buffalo, New York for the weekend to take care of some things, so it is going to be pretty lonely here. Let’s just hope they only need me to stay until tomorrow.

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.