A couple of people have been pointing out that I have not been writing lately. I didn’t realize how long it had been since I had last written. I guess I just haven’t felt motivated lately, or just not wanting to share what’s on my mind. I’m not even sure there really is anything specific going through my head right now. I feel like half the days I’m dead just going through the motions.
I had plans for my birthday to go with a bunch of people to Modern Steak. I ended up getting sick several times that day, so instead everyone came over to my house. I was kind of bummed because it had been so long since I had been out, especially to a nice dinner. Oh well.
I have been feeling a little better overall. It’s been a long time since I was admitted to CTCA, I guess that’s good news. I just finished my 5th round of chemo (Taxotere). I am still going every week to get my weekly chemo, Erbitux. I won’t have another petscan until about Jan. I am just praying that the cancer has not grown and we are at least in the same place as the last petscan or better. I really would like to focus on getting back in shape and strong so I can do more things. I find that many days go by where I don’t do anything active and I get tired so easily. I also end up getting sick the days that I am running around town doing errands. I need to learn how to pace myself in that regard.
I need to schedule caregivers again. Even though I am not being admitted to CTCA, I still have so much that I can’t get done around the house on my own. Not to mention, it’s nice to have the company around. I definitely need it to keep sane. The time that people are coming to Phx is becoming more and more sporadic. I knew this was going to happen. It’s been months since my parents have been down except for their short appearance over Thanksgiving. It doesn’t matter what else anyone has going on in their life, I don’t think there is any excuse for not visiting someone that has a terminal illness and given just a couple of years to live. Sorry to be so blunt, but it’s the truth. I’m not sure what the plan will be for Christmas. I bought a ticket to go home to Park City, but I’m not sure if I’ll even be able to go. I have yet to travel by plane, and I am a little hesitant to travel by myself with luggage,etc. I can’t ski this year, so it makes it just more depressing to be in the snow. I have chemo scheduled Christmas week, along with a surgery the week before, so I guess I am just going to have to play it by ear.