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Is this normal?

By October 6, 2010 - 4:58am

I am a 25yr old woman living with my 27yr old boyfriend. We are very much in love, but about 90% of the time he is not affectionate or interested in sex. We have sex about 3-4 times a month and I feel like i have to ask him if i want more than a kiss on the cheek. I have brought up the fact that I would like to have sex more and i like a good passionate kiss every now and then, but nothing ever happens. Even when i try to encorage it he pushes me away. He seems to love me and treats me like gold in every other way, but i need more passion. I dont know what to do..

By October 14, 2010 - 3:58pm

omg i have this same EXACT problem. I am 19 and my fiance just turned 30. we have been together for about 4 years and we have a 4 month old baby boy. I did not recieve any strechmarks or weight gain from my pregnancy. I look the same as i did before i got pregnant. I weigh 119 pounds. so i dont think it is the way i look. and i have asked him if he did not find me attractive anymore and he said "it's not that". I ask him why we dont have sex and he always has a lame exuse like "im tired i had to work today","today is my only day off and i just want to relax" or "i just dont feel like it". I dont understand. a year ago our sexlife was the best thing ever! but now i dont get ANYTHING. No kissing, maybe a hug, No sex, ABOLUTLY NOTHING. I try to kiss him on the cheek or cuddle him and he pushes me away. I have tried EVERYTHING>from: dressing up sexy and doing things for him that i thought would make him happy, to literally clibing on top of him and ripping his clothes off. i dont know what to do i am just so hurt that things are the way they are now. it is quite sad. He looks at me as if i am stupid for asking. I dont understand what it could be. he does not seem depressed about anything. it just makes no sense at all. i hope something changes because my heart is just breaking day by day knowing that he doest not want to have any intimacy at all in our relationship. i cry all the time because i dont know what else to do. cant someone help me?

October 14, 2010 - 3:58pm
By October 12, 2010 - 6:57am

Thanks for your insights. I dont know really about how he was in his past relationships.. i know he has nothing good to say about them.
We have been together almost two years, and have lived together for over a year of it. I don't really know when all this started.. I know it wasnt an issue before we moved in together.
I have told him that i wish he would kiss me more and made comments when he pushes me away. I dont think it is a confidence issue, I tell him how much i love having sex with him and afterwards i even make comments on how we need to do that more often ect. He's not a shy person.
I think i am just going to ask him. Its come to the point where i can feel myself being moody towards him because i have been thinking about it so much. Wish me luck!

October 12, 2010 - 6:57am
By October 7, 2010 - 9:51am

Hey is your boyfriend a closed person? if he is then it will explain a bit. He might feel too confident with himself in bed. And how long have you been dating? If it is a new relationship then confidence might be an issue he has. I would suggest a self-estime boost during sex would be a good approach. Tell him how sexy he is and what not. I beleive if he feels more confident about himself affectionally the more he will open up to you in the way you want. I use to be like that, I am a very closed person I do everything for her, but when it came to those little things she liked i failed horribly she would tell me about it and i would try but it just did not stick. And also past relationship might be a cause, if in his past he was not affectionate and it worked for him he is just apply it on you as well. Try to study him a bit more and see some pattern in when he treats you "like gold" there might be some clues.

October 7, 2010 - 9:51am

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