I completely agree with Susan. Don't bend to him, he should be more concerned about you, and if he isn't that spells deal breaker in my book. Life's too short to be messing around and killing yourself over the wrong guy, I say.

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Hi laurajames,
Thanks for posting. I'm sorry you haven't received any feedback on this yet.
I think you may have answered your own question when you said, "it feels like we are best friends."
I am not a therapist, and yes, talking with one may help you figure out why you would accept this type of behavior in a boyfriend--this behavior is not loving you, it's deceptive. You don't have to accept it. If you are not on board with it, you can choose to take your life in a different direction. He will probably try to disuade you from doing that, but at 23, you have your whole life ahead of you. Don't settle. That's my big sister advice for you. Bear in mind, I don't know the whole story, and it's none of my business. If there is any reason why you would not be comfortable trying to move out, or end the relationship, you may want to search out a good friend or family member who can help you by giving you support and help you to do this with grace and not drama.
We are also here to lend support, if you need ideas for how to proceed with this. You can try marital counseling, but you may want to just be happy you are not married to this guy. Marriages have ended over stuff like you describe. It is monumentally easier (financially and otherwise) to end a dating relationship than it is to get a divorce. I know it won't be easy. You have invested three years in this guy. You deserve to be comfortable and happy in your relationship and even more importantly with yourself. Don't work to please someone else, don't change yourself to try and keep someone's attention. Be you. A real loved one would be with you in this relationship, and not talking to some random woman they met via MySpace.
Good luck and let us know how you are doing.

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