Facebook Pixel

Menopause Join this Group

What do you think of the stereotypes (crazy! sexless!) of menopausal women?

By HERWriter Guide July 31, 2010 - 6:12am

Menopause is as natural as birth, death and taxes. One way or the other, it's going to happen!

A lot of parodies of middle aged women, particularly menopausal women show us to be frustrated, spare-tired women who are no longer considered sexual, vibrant human beings.

Critics of the women of Sex and the City, Madonna and others like them have essentially said to pack it all up and go home. Leave 'the sexy' for their younger counterparts - that's where it belongs. It's time for women at menopausal age to exchange high heels for comfortable loafers and to accept that our better days are behind us. It's "the change" don't you know!

Most of the parodies are pretty funny (if we can laugh at the bald 50 year old in his convertible with a 20 year old blonde beside him then we should laugh at ourselves too, right?!) but some are a bit overboard, pretty much reinforcing the stereotypes.

Do all these stereotypes bother you or irritate you? Do you feel you're viewed as somehow less vibrant now that you've entered this natural but new phase of life?


By March 20, 2011 - 11:15pm

Whew - I'm glad norawcoffey said many women enjoy sex as much as they did before menopause. I was beginning to think my experience of enjoyment of sex as much as ever was unusual.
I'm just starting menopause, that is, the irregular periods, in the past year. The most notable effect menopause has had in my life is mood changes. I suspect the mood changes started earlier than that. Last February I was pretty manic and nearly bought two houses, rather than just one, which I am living in now. Since I'm normally very frugal and thoughtful about purchases, even down to small items, this was very uncharacteristic. Before the house purchase, I had been extrodinarily depressed for many months. Although I've gone through periods of depression and activity in my life, these were more extreme. I've also had the experience of extremely high anxiety associated with two very heavy periods. The anxiety started a day or two before the periods and tapered off as the blood flow decreased. The last heavy period I had I got euphoric. I slept less than normally and had tons of energy. This followed several months when I was completely unmotivated to do anything, even clean or cook (activities I normally enjoy). The only thing I did (aside from going to work) was read voraciously. Although not depressed, I just wanted to be absorbed in whatever story or book I was reading. This spring I feel like I've come through a door to the other side. I feel more myself than I have in a long time.

March 20, 2011 - 11:15pm
By July 31, 2010 - 8:39am

As the director of an international non-profit women's health organization, HERS, my views about menopause are shaped by the 900,000 women we've counseled, as well as personal experiences of friends and family.

Their experiences vary widely. Some women say they've lost interest in sex and rarely initiate intimacy, while many more women enjoy sex as much as they did before menopause. And a smaller number say their sexual discovery didn't begin until they were menopausal, in part because they were frantically busy with school, work, and raising children, or because of religious concerns that are no longer a prominent issue in their lives.

All in all, most of the post-menopausal women I know professionally and personally are quite happy with their lives!

July 31, 2010 - 8:39am
By HERWriter July 31, 2010 - 7:11am

I hit menopause a few years ago. Leading up to menopause I was very sick with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and had just had a few new symptoms materialize. I had five children at home. I had been Mom for something like half my life, and just about everything I did had to do with being Mom.

A few years after menopause some things have changed (thankfully). I've been getting successful treatment for CFS and am far more functional that I'd been in years. I have only 2 kids at home. One is early twenty's and just make pit stops here from time to time. The other is 20 and recovering from something like my CFS.

I have been able to reclaim more of my life as my own as my kids have been growing up. I'm less "Mom" and more "Jody". And I feel younger and healthier than I did in my 40's when I was so sick and had a houseful of kids.

I put on a bunch of weight in my 40's, probably partly hormonal changes of perimenopause and partly from food sensitivities that suddenly emerged (apparently linked to CFS). I weigh about 40 lbs less than I did at the height of it in my late 40s.

So. I am slimmer, healthier, with fewer responsibilities and more ability to do what I want.

What's not to like?

July 31, 2010 - 7:11am

Group Leader

Related Topics


We're a group devoted to the education and support of something that will happen naturally to all of us at some stage: menopause. No longer called things like "the change" in quiet female-only groups; menopause is a normal stage of life that signals one part of life leaving, and a potentially fantastic one marching in! Some of us will need help, support and advice during this time, and some of us have lots of it to give. Light-hearted or troubled, we can swap experiences and stories, post questions and worries - all within a compassionate community that offers professional resources. Any woman, from 18 to 80, can benefit from membership! Let the fun and friendships begin...


This Group is Open to all EmpowHER.com members