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Lost 3 lbs in a week, now 82lbs. Lost. Mom won't help much.

By September 14, 2011 - 10:27pm

I feel very, very lost. I am now 82 lbs at 5'4" and 19 years old. Not sure how I lost weight. I eat. I eat 3 times a day. Everyone says it's not enough, but I feel full. I'm soo frustrated. Tried talking to my mom about; she is angry. She thinks I can do this on my own. I thought I could, but I told her I need to see the therapist I saw in the past, she really helped me. The thing is though, I don't feel like I'm purposely starving myself. I don't say "I can't eat this, I'll get fat". I eat whatever I want to whenever I feel like I want to. But most of the time I don't "feel" like it. If I want a cookie, I'll eat a cookie. No guilt most of the time. If I want to eat a steak, I eat the steak. But the thing is, I hate being watched when I eat, I hate going through the motion of eating---I feel embarrassed. When I was 16 and was hospitalized for Anorexia all I could think about was how I didn't want to get fat, all i would eat daily was a couple crackers and wanted to be as thin as possible (my lowest weight then was 86). Now, I know I won't get fat, I eat whatever I want (but when i "feel" like it). Besides getting full quickly, I don't like the act of eating, but I don't have the same mindset I did a few years ago. I don't understand, how can I be diagnosed with anorexia nervosa, when I don't have the mindset of an anorexic (like I use to). I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't want to be overweight--but I know I won't be. Me, in my head and thoughts, I don't consider myself anorexic. But everyone else does. I feel I need help because I am withering away, and hate that none of my clothes fit me anymore, hate how thin I am. I need my parents help because it's their insurance. Not sure how to get them on board.

By September 25, 2011 - 9:50am

I posted that a while ago.

Thanks

-Sy

September 25, 2011 - 9:50am

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If you or a loved one is currently struggling with an eating disorder, or any type of disordered eating, we welcome you to join in on the discussion. We will offer emotional support, as well as information and current research to help one another through their journey to recovery.

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