By cbegun Blogger January 6, 2014 - 7:59am

All my life I have gone up and down on the scale hiding food when I was a kid and sneaking snacks so others would not see me. I was, and still am, a closet eater.

During my high school days I was considered chubby. I had moments where I lost weight and looked great. In other cases I ate when I was happy, when I was sad, and just because, and added on pounds that made me stand out more especially in comparison to my thinner twin sister.

Talk about being compared your whole life to someone who looks just like you.

I often resorted to food in time of stress and anxiety, and sadness. I always hated myself for doing that. I still do it.

When I have been extremely successful doing healthy weight loss I tell people it's because I cut out completely the sweets, treats, sodas, and junk food. They retort by saying, "you should not deprive yourself. You can eat those foods in moderation."

I have tried eating foods in moderation and the desire to want more happens. My body nor my mind knows what moderation is. At least not at this point in my life.

Then I realized, I need to treat these types of foods like drugs and alcohol. This may sound extreme but it's starting to make sense. I have an addiction to food.

There...I said it. While I am on yet my next round of getting on track, I am hoping that this time is successful. I need to see the food that are my triggers as bad, and focus on the healthy foods that I do like and enjoy and feel great after eating.

Here is to my new beginning. Anyone else going through this?