I have been dating my boyfriend for three years, and we used to have sex like six times a day, about two years ago he lost his job, and I haven't worked either, and we also drink pretty heavily. Mind you I am 28 and he is 48. He never gets me off hardly. The last time was three months ago. And about two weeks ago I got him off orally. He barely touches me, and when I ask, and yes I feel like why should I have to ask my boyfriend for sex or to be intimate? He says I get ugly, and then like last night we yelled for like an hour, and then when we woke up this morning he didn't even act that interested in me, but we did have sex. It seems like I am the only one that says I love you, and asks to be kissed. I am beginning to feel like he doesn't even find me attractive. Can someone please help, kinda counsel me with this? I am solo confused!!!
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Hi smg69,
Remember, you are not alone with what you are experiencing and I'm glad you reached out to EmpowHER!
Many relationships change over time. It sounds like your boyfriend has checked out of the relationship a bit, and it sounds like a variety things like losing the job and drinking a lot have contributed to this.
Besides having sex, what other activities do you and your boyfriend share and enjoy doing?
Also, have you and your boyfriend discussed how you are feeling at all? Maybe there is something that's bothering him and talking about it / getting to the root of it may help you both have a better understanding of what you both are feeling.
Have you tried letting it go for a bit and not having sex for awhile? Maybe people don't like it when someone is asking for sex a lot. Maybe take a break, but set a date in the future to bring it up again.
No matter what, it's not okay for your boyfriend to put you down and you shouldn't feel bad for wanting sex in a relationship with a partner you are close to.
It can also help to connect with other women who may be experiencing something similar. We get questions like this a lot from other women in our community. Visit our sex & relationship group to connect: https://www.empowher.com/groups/Sex-and-Relationships
Here are some related threads as well in our community:
https://www.empowher.com/sex-amp-relationships/content/best-responses-me...
https://www.empowher.com/community/ask/my-boyfriend-wont-have-sex-me-any...
https://www.empowher.com/community/ask/my-boyfriend-never-wants-have-sex...
Keep me updated!
Best,
October 29, 2016 - 4:08pmErin
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