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My husband filed for divorce yesterday after I filed a restraining order. His emotional and verbal abuse stems from alcohol and over the counter allergy meds-like Benedryl. We've been married 17 years and although I have been angry with him for a long time, I haven't been perfect either, even seeking emotional and physical support from another man, which I regret every day. We've never sought counseling and I wonder if we should before terminating the marriage. I could use some help myself and I know it takes two to sink this ship. I feel desperate to have him back (I can't talk to him because of the PPO) and confused by all the feedback I'm getting from everyone.
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Hi Anon,
Thank you for sharing your question with the EmpowHER community.
If the relationship didn't involve abuse, I would say go for couples counseling, but your safety is of the utmost importance. More than the realationship.
I would however, urge you to seek support and counseling to help you deal with the changes and to begin the healing process for yourself.
You are the priority. Your health, your mind, your spirit must be rebuilt. Some times the worse thing for us to do is the easiest which is to go back to what's familiar. I challenge you to stop the cycle of abuse and invest in taking care of yourself. You deserve it.
Again, it may not be easy, but YOU are worth it.
Take care,
May 12, 2016 - 11:58pm~Gillette
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