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Why Doesn't my boyfriend want to have sex with me anymore?

By May 19, 2009 - 9:46am
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We've been dating for over a yer now but in the last few months our sex has drastically decreased at first started to go down from at least 1-2 times a day for at least 5 months and then it went down to 1-2 times a week and then to 1-2 times a month and now it's been a month and a half since we've had sex. I've read a few articles about this allready, but none seem to fit my problem exactly. I was worried for a while that it might be me that was the problem and but he told me it wasn't and i know he wouldn't lie to me. I've asked him about it but he says theres nothing wrong. I just don't know what to do anymore. He's only a year older than me and he's suppose to be in hes prime. Is there anything I can do? I Haven't pressured him or anything because I dont want him to do it just to shut me up. I want him to want to. and I'm just not satistied anymore and im not asking for everyday, at this point once or twice a week would be nice. A far as I know there's nothing he's stressed about at work or school, could it be a cobination of the 2? or something else going on that I don't know about? and please keep in mind that im am searching for help and advice and I don't want to hear find a new boyfriend. I love him and im not leaving him, even if it means were not going to have sex anymore. But it's frustration for the time being as I find it a tad odd that I want it more than he does. and I don't really want to talk to any of my friends abotu it because I live in a small town and this is personal and I don't need everyone talking about it. and the last thing I want him to feel is embarassed. I havn't told anyone of my friends but I'm in need of some advice. Any Ideas?

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Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I feel that you have to really ask do you want to get with your ex because your current won't offer you the same thing he will or because you love him. I if it's because he just the all around better person to be with, then you shouldn't go back to him because you really don't love him, while he's head over heels in love with you. Doing things like that will only hurt both of you in the long run, because whether or not people like to believe it, as human beings picking the choice that looks better may not be the best choice for you. My advice is, you talk things out with your current, put everything on the table. Then after talking things through, if you feel as if it's best to leave go for it but I would suggest starting fresh with someone new because it'll give you perspective on yourself and it's always nice to have a new prospect in your life. Who knows, it could be a breath of fresh air.

October 31, 2012 - 9:57am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Take your time and take a decision....

October 27, 2012 - 2:03am
EmpowHER Guest

I am getting married next year. This is the situation hi is 14 years older than me. He has a great career wile I am still in school doing my bachelor. My parents are paying for the wedding super expensive. He is only paying for the photos and honeymoon. I look for a photographer I found 10 that I like he told me to pick 3 of then I did but he has not talk to one yet also He gives me a big ring which he has not fixed yet. I am asking him when he is going to do it and he says that he will do it son. I am stress out because I see how my mom and I are the ones doing all. My second problem is that I told him that my car lease will expire next year and hi told me that I will get another one with my mom credit. I told him NO I am not going to use my mom credit we will married him so he is responsible for me. I told him that I do not want an expensive card while is thinking in getting a porches which is very expensive. My third problem is that we haven’t had sex in a month. There is nothing wrong with me I am slim and pretty and clean. I am so depress I cannot talk to anyone because is embarrassing. Does anyone have answers?

October 22, 2012 - 3:09pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Plz dunt marry this guy

October 26, 2012 - 9:40am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

leave this man honey, from what you have shared with us he is not ready to be commited & maybe just using you for your parents money.

October 24, 2012 - 8:58am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

DO NOT MARRY THIS MAN. If he can not make you happy now, what chance will there be when you are facing the challenges of married life? It seems that he is just interested in your mom's money. Please respect yourself and find someone who loves you.

October 23, 2012 - 11:35pm
EmpowHER Guest

I Know this post was done a few years ago but ive been searching everywhere for someone in my situation, i feel ugly fat and im 8 and a half stone at 18 i am tall blonde and without being big headed alot of people have told me im a good lucking girl iv had boys try to date me whilst with my boyfriend which obviously i didnt i am 100% faithful to my boyfriend, he is 21 and he doesnt work or evenn trys to, we have been together 2 years almost now and our sex life was great at the beggining although he lasted less that 2 minuites due to exitement as it got better he started watching t.v during sex i know it was to put himself off a bit so he didnt get so exited but it starts putting me off knowing he isnt interested in looking at me or pleasuring me, its not like hes just bothered about pleasuring himself because he isnt too bothered but the thing is we used to have sex like 1-3 times a day per week or even more and now i have to 'ASK' him for it and i get rejected he doesnt pay any attention to me at all and im feeling so depressed about it! i get bored easilly in relationships after the first year or so anyway but he just doesnt try at all in this relationship to make it work its all
i have been through alot in my life seems though i am only 18 my ex hit me on a regular daily basis and i thought with my new parter knowing what i went through he would treat me like a princess instead he knows i can be walked all over and that is what he is doing now.
i dont want to lose him he is a nice guy and does love me he doesnt even see friends because he thinks it will hurt me im so depressed and we have just broke up but it wont be for lonng
i want a baby i know your going to think what are you thinnking but the time is now im broody all my friends have them and iv always wanted one i am great with kids and i wouldnt use it as a weapon nor a doll i want a baby to give it the life i never got to have or never will,
please help i cant stop crying!!!!!!!


September 11, 2012 - 3:21pm

“You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.”

September 11, 2012 - 12:33am
EmpowHER Guest

hello i need serious help. im a 18 yr old girl n my bf is 22. there is just so much going on now and i have absolutely no one to help me or even talk to. well first of all the sex was great for me but then one day he said it was no good for him. he said it didnt feel good. it was a shock for me becuz for me he felt so big and was the biggest i ever had. after he said that i cldnt help it and think about what i doing wrong and cry nearly every day. he tells me i am the most beautiful girl ever every day (i am very tall and very pretty face n body) but in my mind i think for what its no good if i cant make him feel good. we hardly ever make love and if we do i feel like it is forced and still have his words in my head that i am loose for him. it makes me feel disgusted with myself. okay thats just the sex part. i know it shouldnt be so important but it hurts to feel so unwanted. ok more important we have been together less then 6 months and i wanted love and affection so much i moved with him rather that be apart. but we moved many states away from my one family member. i did this rather than go to college like i soo desperately wanted. it is my most dear dream and i had it all set up to go to a prestigious college. then a month before decided i couldnt stand to be apart from him and went w him.thing is tho we live with his parents. not too odd for me being 18 but i really would rather be on our own. he works and i just got a job. it makes me so sad tho to be low class no education working rlly hard with no college. he says i dont have to give up my dream but his actions are different. i had scholarships of 2000 that is now down to half of that becuz of emergency expenses he needed. he made us a joint bank account when we got here. now he wants me to direct deposit my checks into the account. while his are on a separate card. im just so scared i wont have a dime left for college. i love him so much and dont know how to feel better. im just so tired of crying and want to please him very much. some one please just give me advice im so lost and in a strange place with no family or friends.

September 2, 2012 - 9:31pm

I have a similar situation I am 21 weeks pregnant and am at a sexual high me and my partner. Were doing it 2-3 times a day and now for five days he has not tOuchwd me so I asked why he says he just not in the mood??? I say he must be giving it to someone he only says loves me and if he wanted to be worth someone else he'd just leave I'm not gaining weight from bein pregnant I'm actually losing it plus hes very moody like flick of a switch so please be kind with replies what is the issue we are under alot if stress but sex is a stress reliever especially for me I feel like the evil dragon lady cuz I'm so sexually frustrated

September 2, 2012 - 5:45am
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