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We've been dating for over a yer now but in the last few months our sex has drastically decreased at first started to go down from at least 1-2 times a day for at least 5 months and then it went down to 1-2 times a week and then to 1-2 times a month and now it's been a month and a half since we've had sex. I've read a few articles about this allready, but none seem to fit my problem exactly. I was worried for a while that it might be me that was the problem and but he told me it wasn't and i know he wouldn't lie to me. I've asked him about it but he says theres nothing wrong. I just don't know what to do anymore. He's only a year older than me and he's suppose to be in hes prime. Is there anything I can do? I Haven't pressured him or anything because I dont want him to do it just to shut me up. I want him to want to. and I'm just not satistied anymore and im not asking for everyday, at this point once or twice a week would be nice. A far as I know there's nothing he's stressed about at work or school, could it be a cobination of the 2? or something else going on that I don't know about? and please keep in mind that im am searching for help and advice and I don't want to hear find a new boyfriend. I love him and im not leaving him, even if it means were not going to have sex anymore. But it's frustration for the time being as I find it a tad odd that I want it more than he does. and I don't really want to talk to any of my friends abotu it because I live in a small town and this is personal and I don't need everyone talking about it. and the last thing I want him to feel is embarassed. I havn't told anyone of my friends but I'm in need of some advice. Any Ideas?
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Add a Comment1230 Comments
My boyfriend tells me that sex is not important but we have only been together 5 months and he doesn't want sex at all but at the start it was several times a day. I ask him what the problem is, I even wear sexy clothes but he always just says "sex is not important" though he says he still loves me and thinks I am beautiful so I don't know what I have done wrong. He has moved over from Sweden to live with me which is far because I am from Ireland but this didn't do anything to our sex life in the beginning so I don't know what has changed his mind about our sex life. I feel your pain. My own boyfriend refusing sex makes me feel so unattractive and we are both only 21. Usually guys can't wait to jump into bed with a girl at this age and I know I am a good enough looking girl. It was always me that got tired of sex first. It feels weird that it's him that doesn't want it.
October 23, 2011 - 8:40amThis Comment
Most relationships are based on love and respect. Some relationships are based on lies and deceit. Remember that you chose the one you would like to be in. You have control.
Good luck to you all,
October 22, 2011 - 10:23amMissie
This Comment
Wow. I'm impressed to hear so many variations of the same theme. Well, yes, I'm on the same boat :( It's like sex, after a couple of years, doesn't come naturally anymore. He doesn't seem to be interested anymore in my body, if he is interested in having sex at all. It just to be soo good. Not sure what to do, since I've talked to him several times about it using different approaches to the matter. Is it that they just go lazy after a while and we have to buy that. Is love enough to forget about sex? My body is burning, and now since he doesn't seem to care, I don't feel like starting anything or even trying to be sexy for him (I did that before and it didn't seem to worth it -the only compliments I receive were from other people, not him). I don't want to touch myself, I want someone else touching me and making me feel I'm desired and sexy... oh well... is it this is just how it goes...? I hope not. I feel I'm wasting myself... but yes, I love him. :'(
October 22, 2011 - 2:38amThis Comment
Hi I am 21 and my boyfriend is 37....I am having the same problem...I am.very attractive and he tells me how beautiful I am everyday...but we barley have sex anymore...I don't know why that is but now I will be lucky to get it twice a month....I have heard that if he is not having sex with you then he is having it with someone else...but I don't know I always ask him about cheating but he swears he don't but honesty who will admit it...I don't want to leave my boyfriend either but I also don't want to be with someone who barley wants sex....we have only been together for 7momths that's something u do when u get married lol...
October 21, 2011 - 11:02pmThis Comment
For the immature eighteen year old who says her boyfriend left someone else for herself is so childish acts worse than my three year old and her boyfriend will leave her just a matter of time.
October 13, 2011 - 3:13pmThis Comment
i'd say that he is cheating on you and maybe is just using you an waiting for the right time to end it!! this same thing happen to a friend!!
September 28, 2011 - 5:14pmThis Comment
Thanks for the advice Susan, he actually has kissed someone else whilst being with me, ive kicked him out of home and that improved things for a while, but now it's just going back to the same old stuff. And those pictures of my cousin and actually stole them off her phone.
I just don't have the confidence to end things, and its so hard to move on and find someone else that gets along with my family as well as he does. I'm only 18 and I've already been in a 2 year relationship before, from the age of 14 till 16, and that was so difficult to end at that age. Im just such a serious relationship person, it just always turns so serious, so fast.
Im also the type of person that always has to have someone, I don't do well when I'm single. Someone has always been there for as long as I can remember. it sucks.
By the way I'm kat.
September 26, 2011 - 11:03pmThis Comment
ok so i don't know what to do!!! My boyfriend is 19 and i am 18. We've only been dating for around 10 months and already the number of times we have sex in say...a week has decreased so much. We used to be having sex every single time we would see each other. Now if he's over for the weekend we don't have sex once! Or if I'm lucky we have sex in the morning, but even then he will not ejaculate. He's so obsessed with porn, he knows I hate it because they are so much better looking then me. We have never had a dirty conversation via text or email, but he will go on chat and dating sites to talk dirty to women, he even talks dirty with he's ex girlfriends, women he has been intimate with in the past, or even women I know personally. Also at one stage he sent himself about 10 pictures of my naked cousin to himself because he was 'curious'. I don't know what to do!!!! I've had a school girl crush on him for 5 years and now that i finally have him I don't want to loose him. Any one got advice? :(
September 26, 2011 - 7:29amThis Comment
im going through the exact same thing you are... i hope someone has some answers out there because i wish i knew ...
September 26, 2011 - 12:45amThis Comment
oh and on top of that susan i found him jerking off on one of those porn sites where they plp can see you and i just felt like you can jerk off watching someone else but cant have sex with me it just makes me feel sooo dirty & unwanted on sooo many levels yeah i just need to get it together and just start to take control over my life.
September 25, 2011 - 6:32amThis Comment