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Why Doesn't my boyfriend want to have sex with me anymore?

By May 19, 2009 - 9:46am
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We've been dating for over a yer now but in the last few months our sex has drastically decreased at first started to go down from at least 1-2 times a day for at least 5 months and then it went down to 1-2 times a week and then to 1-2 times a month and now it's been a month and a half since we've had sex. I've read a few articles about this allready, but none seem to fit my problem exactly. I was worried for a while that it might be me that was the problem and but he told me it wasn't and i know he wouldn't lie to me. I've asked him about it but he says theres nothing wrong. I just don't know what to do anymore. He's only a year older than me and he's suppose to be in hes prime. Is there anything I can do? I Haven't pressured him or anything because I dont want him to do it just to shut me up. I want him to want to. and I'm just not satistied anymore and im not asking for everyday, at this point once or twice a week would be nice. A far as I know there's nothing he's stressed about at work or school, could it be a cobination of the 2? or something else going on that I don't know about? and please keep in mind that im am searching for help and advice and I don't want to hear find a new boyfriend. I love him and im not leaving him, even if it means were not going to have sex anymore. But it's frustration for the time being as I find it a tad odd that I want it more than he does. and I don't really want to talk to any of my friends abotu it because I live in a small town and this is personal and I don't need everyone talking about it. and the last thing I want him to feel is embarassed. I havn't told anyone of my friends but I'm in need of some advice. Any Ideas?

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EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

AtYou are so closed minded it's unreal not every Guy is like that. I am a man and had a problem with wanting sex because of all the other things that were going on at the time. My girl thought I was cheating or didn't want her but that was not the case. The problem was me not wanting to be or seem week and vulnerable with my problems. I'm a man I can take care of it I said nut there is a point when too much is too much and you have to realize that they can help you and they want to know how your feeling. It is a hard one to get over but on the otherside is a true relationship. Two poeple who love each other working together and not putting up there walls so they can't see you are human too. Everyone has problems now and again and its nice to now that you have someone who understands.

December 13, 2010 - 11:47am
(reply to Anonymous)

i have been with my bf for 7 yrs but in the past 3 he has had NO & i mean NO SEXUAL DESIRE. ive been as sensitive as a woman can be asking him if it was me is he not in love anymore did he lose attraction for me is he messing around or liking someone else & even asked if he turned gay. all answers where no. so i asked why he doesnt even want to even touch me anymore. he always told me how hot i was or would attack me when gettin out of shower. now i cant get him to even look at me in the eyes. his excuses where he was tired all the time so i made sure we started goin 2 bed earlier. then it was cause our at the time this started was 3 yrs old she slept with us so i got her to start sleepin in her own bed. boom takin care of. then it was our kids also seem 2 pound on door & interupt that ruined the mood. so i took care of that. then he was working to many hours at work & at sometime he was but the over time ended so that was takin care of. then last but not least he finally said i just have no sexual desire mind you he was 37 he will be 40 in july. so i told him to go see dr maybe she could put him on viagra. he said i can do that but the pill isnt gonna give me a sex drive just make him hard. after 3 yrs of this im depressed in tears & falling apart. 6 months ago he finally went to dr. she took blood found nothing wrong put him on viagra. then set an appointment up for him with a urinologist. he went & they did lots of tests again nothing wrong. so he set him appt. with cardiologist think clots slowing flow of blood. again lots of tests & nothing wrong. his insurance doesnt cover viagra so he gets 1 to 2 pills at a time. but other problem he doesnt even care to go buy them cause he has no desire so i buy them. ive tried to change things in bed. he said maybe he needed something different in bed to trun him on & he said it wasnt another chic. so i mentioned roll playing, strip tease, you name it i mentioned it. he wanted 2 watch me play by myself with a toy. so i did that turned him on. watchin a porn turns him on. other than that nothing i do or say turns him on. example-i will text him from the bathroom as im in shower askin him to come in with me im all soapy wet & ready to give him anything he wants. his reply im in bed. ive told hiom im gettin ready to come in bed room with nothing but a towel why dont you throw me down & have your way with me. when i walk in he rolls over or he will act like he never even read it. ive sent nude pics tellin him somethings & yes ive left out alot of nasty things ive said, telling him to *** me ****fuck me **** me s**t do anything to me. but never do i ever get touch unless i start it. so i know how all the women feel. i lay in bed at night & cry myself to sleep. & he can hear me but he dont care. ive told him if hes not in love anymore it would hurt but id get over it in time. im a big girl & theres other fish in the sea. damn let me go. ive tried to be understanding but all them drs. & nothings wrong then it has to be in the head. i just dont do it for him anymore. im old news cant cut it. recently he came to me telling me he wants to see some other guy down on me. i cant do that im in love with him. who in there right mind would want to share there woman. cause i know if i saw some b***h in bed suckin on my man id be in prison. i dont share man. i have no walls up as u say & yes we all have problems but when one has obviously some things in there head like that wow im lost its like im not enough for him. i understand hes having problems & im doin my best to help but while im helping im also slipping in deep depression. im 37 not old but not a spring chicken. but i still got it but the older us women get & having your man want not a thing to do with you. well it tends to lower our self esteem our pride we have feelongs to & we have a heart & they are starting to break. when some men dont even want our help cause as he would say its embrassing. welll having your man ignore you when your making sexual moves or just flat out turn you down thats not only embarassing its so many painful words i cant name them all. so now men HELPME cause some of us cant take it anymore.

January 20, 2011 - 12:39pm
(reply to Anonymous)

Maybe he's gay and doesn't want to let his girlfriend know.
We don't have all the facts. :)

November 6, 2010 - 4:30am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Hey I'm a chic an I had this problem with the last (edited for language)I was with, this guy here has it in the bag. He's right my man was doing shit behind my back An i {edited for offensive language} He felt obilgated to (edited for language)me. Which was me beggin for it until I got it once a week.(edited for language) that! I' 28 an I look good. I'ma go get mine. He's out picture now and (edited for language)around wit some 18 yr old broad. Good Luck with that {edited for language}.

May 13, 2010 - 7:54pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Hey! I'm 18 and my bf's ex is your age! haha if your name is nicole then you definitly know who this is! btw we were not [edited for language] when you two were going out....but he did dump you for me! and the next commenter is right... I am 18 and I am alot better looking than you! haha sorry girly! and hes not [edited for language] around with me.... he loves me, takes me out to dinner alot and buys me many things and spends all of his time with me, he loves me! and we have a really good time together, he said I was his best friend.... goodluck with your future relationships, there is some man who will appreciate you! :P

July 29, 2011 - 5:07pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Hello 18 yr old, you certainly act like one! your boy (not man) will dump you, you bf will go for someone else, someone is always coming along - and hey I can assure you there will always be someone better looking than you, or haven't you thought of that? its funny how you think your better looking, that is a very trashy comment, probably like yourself - trashy. karma is just around the corner for someone like you that likes to flap their trap about themselves trying to make someone else feel bad about themself! and guess what? your going to be 28, 40, 50 before you know it.....and I hope your aging is kind to you!! hahaha i am glad you mention that he loves you, because there wouldn't be many that would with a low attitude like this. not many would find you an attractive person on the inside, grow up & stop discracing women like you have. geez i hope your bf can keep buying you things, material things - this seems to be what makes you happy - your happy splashing how your relationship is no matter who it may be hurting - maybe you will have that done to you one day....who knows. Good luck with your 'fantastic' loving relationship! You have a lot to learn girlie!!!

August 9, 2011 - 8:31pm
(reply to Anonymous)

Amen Sister!!! What goes around comes around. I'd say you're better off without that jerk! You'll find someone that deserves you. Keep your chin up!

January 21, 2012 - 4:06pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I'm having exactly the same problem as u. Since i got myself clean from drugs ive gained a little weight and sex life isnt there what so ever he doesnt even sleep naked anymore and doesnt want me touch me at all. During arguments he says that he dnt sleep with me as i had cheated when we got together we have bin together 4years whats going on what have i done?

December 29, 2011 - 10:59am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Well maybe the 18 year old looks alot better then you and he was With her when you were begging for it.... And if your name is Denise then it's even worse!

June 12, 2011 - 10:02pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

you're an awful person.

December 15, 2011 - 3:25am
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