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Why Doesn't my boyfriend want to have sex with me anymore?

By May 19, 2009 - 9:46am
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We've been dating for over a yer now but in the last few months our sex has drastically decreased at first started to go down from at least 1-2 times a day for at least 5 months and then it went down to 1-2 times a week and then to 1-2 times a month and now it's been a month and a half since we've had sex. I've read a few articles about this allready, but none seem to fit my problem exactly. I was worried for a while that it might be me that was the problem and but he told me it wasn't and i know he wouldn't lie to me. I've asked him about it but he says theres nothing wrong. I just don't know what to do anymore. He's only a year older than me and he's suppose to be in hes prime. Is there anything I can do? I Haven't pressured him or anything because I dont want him to do it just to shut me up. I want him to want to. and I'm just not satistied anymore and im not asking for everyday, at this point once or twice a week would be nice. A far as I know there's nothing he's stressed about at work or school, could it be a cobination of the 2? or something else going on that I don't know about? and please keep in mind that im am searching for help and advice and I don't want to hear find a new boyfriend. I love him and im not leaving him, even if it means were not going to have sex anymore. But it's frustration for the time being as I find it a tad odd that I want it more than he does. and I don't really want to talk to any of my friends abotu it because I live in a small town and this is personal and I don't need everyone talking about it. and the last thing I want him to feel is embarassed. I havn't told anyone of my friends but I'm in need of some advice. Any Ideas?

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(reply to Kassidy32)

omg. your story is just like mine. I am 19 i weigh 114 pounds and i think i am really pretty so i dont see what the problem could be.me and my fiance have been together 4 years now and we just had a babyboy and he is almost 4 months. I did not get any stretchmarks or weight gain from my pregnancy. I look the same as i did before i got pregnant. me and my fiance have not had sex for over a year now. he wont let me touch him what so ever! even if i just try to kiss him on the cheek or give him a hug he pushes me away and tells me to leave him alone. I ask why we dont have any intimacy and he says "i dont know." but he wont tell me why. I know he is not cheating on me we are together all the time. i asked him if he is bored with me and he says "no it's not that." i am going insane. I dont want to say im a sexaholic but i would like some dick every once and a while or even just a 15 minute makeout session, SOMETHING but no, still i get nothing. I love him with all my heart and i am so scared that i am losing him. I cant leave him for the sake of our son and i dont think i could ever leave him again because he means more than the world to me. everybody keeps telling me to leave him. even his own mother. but i refuse to leave him ,that is not an option. so i dont know what the fuck im gonna do but something better change because my feelings are crushed and i am slowly developing depression again and i have not been this depressed since i was 9 years old when my dad divorced my mom.

October 14, 2010 - 8:06pm
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Anonymous (reply to Kassidy32)

theres no reason to tell him its time to end things 4 years and a 4 month old dont give up. my man is being the same way.... our daughter is 3 months old now and we hardly ever have sex.... but just try to be understanding... things will get better... but the bporn wuld be pushing it for me

July 1, 2010 - 4:26pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

You don't know he cheated. Perhaps the stress has just resulted in a decreased sexual desire. Try to spice it up and seduce him.

August 12, 2009 - 2:01am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

thats easier said then done, i try to seduce my boyfriend because i have the same problem and soon as i get touchy he just says he is tired and goes to bed, ive tried in the morning after noon anytime but there is always an excuse

April 26, 2012 - 3:19pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

well from experience i have tried everything and it does not help so what d u do then

November 3, 2011 - 7:35am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

ok as a guy I can honestly say that its more likely that he did cheat and now feels guilty or hes gettn (edited for language) girlfriend.........a guy is a guy we do not get stressed out enough to not have sex and keep it a secret from our partners. And its not anyones fault its jusst how guys are we get bored of(edited for language) the same grl especially if we have more experience then her so if you wanna keep him wanting to (edited for language) out of him you cant say oooo lets make love no guy wants to make love but they just want to (edited for language)

April 15, 2010 - 5:38pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I think your wrong, my boyfriend likes it when i say lets make love rather then lets have sex, or lets f***. and when he is stressed from work, or physically exausted he doesnt want it as much as when everything is going right on track. life situations can deff determine whether or not a person wants to be intament or not.

December 15, 2011 - 7:36pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

well to that i say its not tru, my boyfriend has been like that and if u say hes cheated, i call him a magician since he doesnt work n doesnt even go to the shops without me with him, he wnt leave the house unless im with him but over the course of 4 months we have sex maybe once a month, from havin it nearly everyday, so not all guys are the kind to cheat, and just cos they dnt want sex dnt mean that there cheating, u mite b like that but not all are

July 7, 2011 - 3:13am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Not true! im going through this now i have no idea why. I can have sex but can never seem to finish regularly. Im in love more now then ever and dont feel guilty. i frequently have to take care of my self perhaps that is the case due to a busy schedule . Basically i suffer from the opposite of a minute mans problem.

March 2, 2011 - 5:37pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Apart from your lack of English skills, you obviously have very little life skills. You have no right to say men can never have sex due to stress and therefore must be cheating on their partners. If you have never "made love" to a woman, then you have never had a meaningful relationship. Sad.

December 16, 2010 - 7:02pm
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