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Why Doesn't my boyfriend want to have sex with me anymore?

By May 19, 2009 - 9:46am
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We've been dating for over a yer now but in the last few months our sex has drastically decreased at first started to go down from at least 1-2 times a day for at least 5 months and then it went down to 1-2 times a week and then to 1-2 times a month and now it's been a month and a half since we've had sex. I've read a few articles about this allready, but none seem to fit my problem exactly. I was worried for a while that it might be me that was the problem and but he told me it wasn't and i know he wouldn't lie to me. I've asked him about it but he says theres nothing wrong. I just don't know what to do anymore. He's only a year older than me and he's suppose to be in hes prime. Is there anything I can do? I Haven't pressured him or anything because I dont want him to do it just to shut me up. I want him to want to. and I'm just not satistied anymore and im not asking for everyday, at this point once or twice a week would be nice. A far as I know there's nothing he's stressed about at work or school, could it be a cobination of the 2? or something else going on that I don't know about? and please keep in mind that im am searching for help and advice and I don't want to hear find a new boyfriend. I love him and im not leaving him, even if it means were not going to have sex anymore. But it's frustration for the time being as I find it a tad odd that I want it more than he does. and I don't really want to talk to any of my friends abotu it because I live in a small town and this is personal and I don't need everyone talking about it. and the last thing I want him to feel is embarassed. I havn't told anyone of my friends but I'm in need of some advice. Any Ideas?

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Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Well I gave up everything!My career, my life..Everything I wanted in life so I can move t o his state with him...I am stressed and he tells me I have nothing to complain about...I am scared right now..and thinking, what the hell did I just do and is he sure that he wants this??I want to work and he doesnt want me too..and now he is taking the one little thing that I have left and want!!!SEX!!Come on!!!What in the world do I have to do!?

August 23, 2010 - 2:53am
(reply to Anonymous)

i like this site, everyone is pissed off about it!!! Well, I am also. What 29 yo male doesnt want to (edited for language) at least twice a week, and i dont want to hear stress. thats some (edited for language) stress makes me want to (edited for language). ive been with mine for almost 10 months, the first few were ok, now i have to beg for it, and finally stopped that, just take care of myself. i cant keep this up, but i dont think i could cheat for sex, i would feel too guilty. and i do love him, but damn, i do everything and he don't even go down, if you know what im sayin. im 5 ft 5, 108, very pretty and a very nice body and well kept. i just dont get it. wtf is the problem????

May 21, 2010 - 11:10pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to nursebarlow)

Hon, you're ugly and dumb looking. Believe me, your man or even a blind man, wouldn't want you!

June 23, 2012 - 9:08pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to nursebarlow)

Totally agree with you! Im going through the same situation and sick of it! Tired of all them sleepless nights thinking about it all the time! Its just so painfull...

March 24, 2012 - 4:08am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to nursebarlow)

same here.

October 7, 2010 - 6:10pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to nursebarlow)

I know exactly how you feel. I have been with my fiance for almost 3 years and it seems like I have to beg for it, and I am a girl I shouldn't have to beg for it. He is not cheating on me we are together all the time. I guess that he is just bored with me. We broke up in november and he couldn't keep his hands off of me and now it went to maybe 1 or 2 times a month. I really wish that I could find out whats up. He tells me to make moves but when I do I feel like I pushing him to do it. And that's not the way that it should be in a relationship, if he don't want me I just want him to tell me, because what kind of relationship can you have when you dont have a good sex life. I am getting tired of taking care of myself, I want to feel him inside me. And its not that I just want sex, cause thats not the deal I want him. And it seems like the more that he tells me no or he doesn't try the more that I want him. I just wish that I has some kind of magical book to give me all the answers.

June 7, 2010 - 10:32am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

If there is a magical book I want a copy.

November 6, 2010 - 8:19am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I know exactly how you feel. I've been with my bf for 4yrs. We live together and are always together. We are great together... only thing that sucks is sex. It seems like I have to beg for it, there is always a reason why it is not a good time. I've gotten so tired of asking for it that I no longer do. And when we are intimate (1-2x month) I can't really get into it because I feel like he doesn't really want me. We cuddle, he kisses me, holds my hand, tells me he loves me, and how pretty i am. What's the deal? I know he masturbates almost every day..... I read that this behavior could have a negative impact. How important is sex to me when everything else is great?

September 3, 2010 - 3:31pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

OMG I Completely agree!!! I've been in my relationship for almost 9 years and I have to beg for it! It's completely ridiculous. Now i'm feeling really low about myself and he says that its not me but that he doesn't have a drive yet? WTF does that even mean? A guy not having a sex drive? I know for a fact he's not cheating on me...but this being pushed away shit is fucking ridiculous. I can't stand it. I'm very frusterated and don't know what to do with us....

June 13, 2010 - 12:08pm
(reply to Anonymous)

I truely feel how u feel. Im having the same problem with my man. We have been together four years. We have a 4month old son. Before we had r son r sex life was out of this world. Now its down the tubes. He love watchn tranny porn and i was cool with that. Sometimes we watch them together. Now im starting to think that maybe i dont turn him on anymore and the trannies do. He is scaring me. I am a fly chick and he thinks im beautiful so whats really going on. Its been a month since we've had sex and im furious. He says he is stressn ova work and bills and i understand that. But im about ready to call it quits. I have needs and i DONT want to cheat on him. I told him yesterday that this relationship needs to come to an end. Am i wrong? I love this man with all my heart and soul i want to b with him. But no sex is driving me CRAZY! Somebody help me out........PLEASE!!

June 12, 2010 - 6:25pm
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