Facebook Pixel

Why Doesn't my boyfriend want to have sex with me anymore?

By May 19, 2009 - 9:46am
Rate This

We've been dating for over a yer now but in the last few months our sex has drastically decreased at first started to go down from at least 1-2 times a day for at least 5 months and then it went down to 1-2 times a week and then to 1-2 times a month and now it's been a month and a half since we've had sex. I've read a few articles about this allready, but none seem to fit my problem exactly. I was worried for a while that it might be me that was the problem and but he told me it wasn't and i know he wouldn't lie to me. I've asked him about it but he says theres nothing wrong. I just don't know what to do anymore. He's only a year older than me and he's suppose to be in hes prime. Is there anything I can do? I Haven't pressured him or anything because I dont want him to do it just to shut me up. I want him to want to. and I'm just not satistied anymore and im not asking for everyday, at this point once or twice a week would be nice. A far as I know there's nothing he's stressed about at work or school, could it be a cobination of the 2? or something else going on that I don't know about? and please keep in mind that im am searching for help and advice and I don't want to hear find a new boyfriend. I love him and im not leaving him, even if it means were not going to have sex anymore. But it's frustration for the time being as I find it a tad odd that I want it more than he does. and I don't really want to talk to any of my friends abotu it because I live in a small town and this is personal and I don't need everyone talking about it. and the last thing I want him to feel is embarassed. I havn't told anyone of my friends but I'm in need of some advice. Any Ideas?

Add a Comment1230 Comments

EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I am going to try that all that stuff you just said! what does fellating mean though? lmao!

June 22, 2010 - 6:21pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

BALONY! God created man and woman. The first humans to exist on earth together were a COUPLE from the beginning on God meant for there to be happily married couples to live together and enjoy sex forever. Thats what set us apart from the animals! Until that dirty snake came along. Now the earth is filled with greedy lying slithering snakes for men who just can't get enough, and are not satisfied with the beautiful thing that God gave them so they have to go after everything with legs that walks past them and lie to everyone about it. And they're so busy covering up their greed for "variety" and sex with everyone and everything else, that they neglect what they have right in front of their greedy ignorant faces!

June 22, 2010 - 6:12pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

you need to realize not everyone belives in god and the adam and eve fairy tale.

February 19, 2011 - 9:26am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I agree stop the drinking there is no guy worth drinking over

we are having problems in that as well, but I know its not me cause Im too cute and that's just what you have to tell your self and one day it will get better is what I do,

February 16, 2010 - 7:36pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

you don't have to be so straight forward and mean to some one who is hurting. Cheating is sadly a factor in everyone's world, but it should never be the first thing you think about. Trust is the basis of all relationships to think about him/her cheating means you don't trust them and in turn why should they trust you

October 11, 2009 - 8:34am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Yes! You do have to be straight forward and Honest! Honest with yourself if nobody else will. Somebody has to be! And you must be realistic. I'm not trying to be insensitive. I HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS MYSELF. THAT'S HOW I KNOW BETTER! And frosting a rotten cake may make it taste beter at first, but when you get right into the middle of it you'll see the truth of the matter..., it ain't nooo goood! Hanging around hoping to be noticed by someone who's obviously moved on themselves will get you nowhere! He's cheated before, he's still isn't interested, etc. etc. How much more obvious can it get. Don't waiste your love and your LIFE on someone who doesn't appreciate it. Life is too precious for that Dear...

June 22, 2010 - 4:09pm
(reply to Anonymous)

i don't agree. i'm going through the same thing, and my boyfriend is also my best friend, i.e. one of the most loyal people I have ever known. not all guys are assholes; some have different issues or needs than the general douchebag guy who wants everything that moves. not ruling it out, but i really don't think that's the problem, and i don't think you should automatically say he cheated on her. again, not all guys are like that...i've been with ones that were, and i've met a lot that aren't (from intense, close friendships and relationships), and found one for myself that isn't. but, like i said, i'm going through the same thing...i'm flabbergasted, but i'm absolutely sure he isn't cheating. there is such a thing as faithfulness, even in this day...and hell, we aren't even religious. :D

September 30, 2009 - 12:06am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Simpia)

yeah i use to think the same thing! the guy im with now was my best friend for years before we became serious i use to think he was this straight up and honest good guy and i thought i would be safe from getting hurt by him so we moved to the next step and this so honest straight up good guy has turned out to be not so honest! iv caught him in several lies and even cheating on me just a week ago. i was suspicous when we all of a sudden stoped haven sex he never wanted to and would always turn me down and never had time for me anymore.we stopped hanging out and haveing fun and laughing together like we use to.i felt like he was always avoiding me! after i caught him he said it was the first time and that it didnt go as far as i think it did well anything with another woman sexually is to damn far! he said he was sorry and he fucked up and that he doesnt want me to go but he doesnt act like he's sorry or that he really wants me to stay and hes still avoiding me.why does he say one thing but act like another? i dont get it! im very good to this man and have been faithful and honest and do everything in the world for him so how could he do that to me and not want me? im starting to wonder if im doing something wrong or does he just not enjoy sex with me am i only here to do his laundry and cook is dinner? he says no but i cant believe anything he says anymore! i love him with all my heart and im at a lost on what to do and how to fix it!

June 19, 2010 - 11:44pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

You have to move on. I know it's hard, but You can't forgive someone who doesn't want to be forgiven! Actions speak louder than words. If he really wanted your forgivesness he would change his former behavior (avoiding you etc.) and be doing everything in his power to win you back! And if he's not doing that I bet you my life that he is STILL CHEATING ON YOU!
No one deserves to be treated like that in a relationship. It should be about mutual desire for eachother in every way. You need someone who wants you just as much as you want him. And if he doesn't, then move on, because girlfriend, there is someone out there who does!!

June 22, 2010 - 1:41pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

o really just cause it happened to your (edited for language) dont instill that in her mind (edited for language) im 28 lost my job and a bunch of other (edited for language) all at once moved in with her and all alot of shit happened real fast real quick stress

September 16, 2009 - 6:04pm
Enter the characters shown in the image.
By submitting this form, you agree to EmpowHER's terms of service and privacy policy
Add a Comment

All user-generated information on this site is the opinion of its author only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. Members and guests are responsible for their own posts and the potential consequences of those posts detailed in our Terms of Service.

Sexual Health

Get Email Updates

Resource Centers

Related Checklists

Sexual Health Guide

HERWriter Guide

Have a question? We're here to help. Ask the Community.


Health Newsletter

Receive the latest and greatest in women's health and wellness from EmpowHER - for free!