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Why Doesn't my boyfriend want to have sex with me anymore?

By May 19, 2009 - 9:46am
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We've been dating for over a yer now but in the last few months our sex has drastically decreased at first started to go down from at least 1-2 times a day for at least 5 months and then it went down to 1-2 times a week and then to 1-2 times a month and now it's been a month and a half since we've had sex. I've read a few articles about this allready, but none seem to fit my problem exactly. I was worried for a while that it might be me that was the problem and but he told me it wasn't and i know he wouldn't lie to me. I've asked him about it but he says theres nothing wrong. I just don't know what to do anymore. He's only a year older than me and he's suppose to be in hes prime. Is there anything I can do? I Haven't pressured him or anything because I dont want him to do it just to shut me up. I want him to want to. and I'm just not satistied anymore and im not asking for everyday, at this point once or twice a week would be nice. A far as I know there's nothing he's stressed about at work or school, could it be a cobination of the 2? or something else going on that I don't know about? and please keep in mind that im am searching for help and advice and I don't want to hear find a new boyfriend. I love him and im not leaving him, even if it means were not going to have sex anymore. But it's frustration for the time being as I find it a tad odd that I want it more than he does. and I don't really want to talk to any of my friends abotu it because I live in a small town and this is personal and I don't need everyone talking about it. and the last thing I want him to feel is embarassed. I havn't told anyone of my friends but I'm in need of some advice. Any Ideas?

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Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Girl what you gotta do is look your best all the time act like you dont give a shit dress sexy show more skin.. be a lill wild act like if he doesnt want you then others will. Dont make it seem like you want it make him want you. What i do when i want sex, the only thing i do is get the bottle of lotion and take my pant off leave on your underwear and start lotioning yourself in a sexy way make sure he sees you.
good luck girl. i feel your pain.

February 17, 2010 - 7:13pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

this girl, might be onto something, i used to come home from work at like 10am and my girl would be wearing the sluttiest clothes... a few hours later zzzZZZ but daaaamn i loved cummin home to that.

it's true, we do get bored, we watch porn, girls do to, some just take from it, which isn't a bad thing EVER

January 3, 2011 - 12:10pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I have tried the whole sitting in your panties and it don't work either. I have tried everything and it dont seem to make a difference. Im still waiting on that magical book to give me all the answers lol.

June 7, 2010 - 11:05am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

no one has contacted me. i keep loosing my password. i am onso many sightsthatrequirepaswords i cannot keep up with them. by the things are getting worse. my self esteem is crushed. all i do is drink more alcohol and take more substances to push away the hurt. the physical pain of him not caring doe's not go away. any idea's ? I AM NOT GIVING UP SO DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME

October 26, 2009 - 8:15pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

dont drink soo much itll make you feel worse in the long run, as for the substances i doubt the the high lasts longer than the come down, see a councillour

March 24, 2010 - 6:42am
(reply to Anonymous)

drinking only numbs the pain for a little while so you can pretend to forget the main issues. try to stop drinking before alcohol is added to the list also. from reading all the comments you can see you are not alone, many women including myself are going through the same thing atm. believe me my self esteem has completely gone and its because of everyone else's reasons..........men! you don't need to give up and whatever anyone says to you....whatever you do....it's your decision. i do think you need to be honest with yourself first and then speak to the man you obviously love. it's hard and i have yet to confront my man because when i do he turns things straight back on me and my 'Jealousy'(which btw has occurred because of his actions) and i don't seem to get anywhere. but all you can do is try and if it's meant to be things will improve. don't know what else to say as i am struggling also but hopefully all of us will be ok!!

March 13, 2010 - 12:15pm
(reply to kayleighxxxx)

My boyfriend is the same way! Last night i tried to talked to him about us not having sex now for about 7 months. I told him how i was feeling (sad,hurt & unwanted) & he turned it all right back on me. He said, " i cant even touch your boobs without you wanting to have sex". Well duuuhhhh fucker! Maybe if we had sex a lil more offten i wouldnt get so horny & want to jump your bones everytime you touch me! I know he's stressed about work (he's a tow truck driver) & works alot but damn, what's a few minutes of his time every week or every couple of weeks to make me happy.I just dont get it...im not ugly & i do so much for him to help him out in life.He always thanks me & tells me he apprieciates me & the things I do for him & that im a good women. I know he's not cheating on me(he calls me all the time durring the day when he's at work & were together everynight).i have given him BJ's in the past 7 months that we havent had sex. He does seem to want to sleep alot & he started taking vitamins recently.Im just really confused by all this...ive never had a situation like this in any of my past relationships.

March 19, 2010 - 1:20pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to KristenMarie)

I'm goin thru the same thing. Me n my man haven't done anything for 8 months now. Not even BJ's. He's also stressing out about a lot of things n I understand but everytime I bring up the topic he rolls his eyes n doents say anything n seems like he doesn't care. I dnt want to pressure him n I know sex isn't everything in a relationship but I do have needs too. He tells me that everything is gona get better n that he's gona try but its bin 8 months n nothing has changed. I feel unwanted, sad, ugly, etc. I don't know wat to do anymore...

April 18, 2010 - 4:49am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

No sex isn't every thing in a relationship, but damn we are the girls in it, guys are supposed to want us, we are not supposed to beg them. We are supposed to be the ones that tell them no. Its does make you feel so unwanted and ugly. I have been through this before, it hurts so bad. If they are so bored or what ever the problem is, they should tell us not make us feel like we are not shit to them.

June 7, 2010 - 11:01am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I hate to tell you this but sometimes when your both in love and one of them makes a mistake (such as cheating) the cheater subconsciously stops having sex with their partner; guilt is a factor sometimes.

March 2, 2010 - 7:52am
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