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Why Doesn't my boyfriend want to have sex with me anymore?

By May 19, 2009 - 9:46am
 
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We've been dating for over a yer now but in the last few months our sex has drastically decreased at first started to go down from at least 1-2 times a day for at least 5 months and then it went down to 1-2 times a week and then to 1-2 times a month and now it's been a month and a half since we've had sex. I've read a few articles about this allready, but none seem to fit my problem exactly. I was worried for a while that it might be me that was the problem and but he told me it wasn't and i know he wouldn't lie to me. I've asked him about it but he says theres nothing wrong. I just don't know what to do anymore. He's only a year older than me and he's suppose to be in hes prime. Is there anything I can do? I Haven't pressured him or anything because I dont want him to do it just to shut me up. I want him to want to. and I'm just not satistied anymore and im not asking for everyday, at this point once or twice a week would be nice. A far as I know there's nothing he's stressed about at work or school, could it be a cobination of the 2? or something else going on that I don't know about? and please keep in mind that im am searching for help and advice and I don't want to hear find a new boyfriend. I love him and im not leaving him, even if it means were not going to have sex anymore. But it's frustration for the time being as I find it a tad odd that I want it more than he does. and I don't really want to talk to any of my friends abotu it because I live in a small town and this is personal and I don't need everyone talking about it. and the last thing I want him to feel is embarassed. I havn't told anyone of my friends but I'm in need of some advice. Any Ideas?

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(reply to Anonymous)

i think that the best way to deal this is talking directly on face ....
get stern one day ...
u wil find him giving attention to u ...
then u ask him wat was his problem .... get stubbron if he turns away ....
this has always worked .

i hope u get ur answer from ur boyfriend .... :)

February 4, 2011 - 6:59am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

You must have just gained weight. Fat chicks suck. That is why I quit sleeping with my girlfriend for a while. Then she lost wieght and started to give a damn about herself.

October 7, 2010 - 8:55pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

You could try using punctuation.

September 28, 2010 - 10:41pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Dont just assume he is cheating on you, unless he has done it before. He could just have alot on his mind, or just doesn't have a high sex drive as before. What I would do if it has really been that long, talk to him tell him how you feel, but don't pressure sex on him, kinda be like "Baby I've been noticing lately that you haven't been that interested in having sex." or something along them lines. Don't turn it into a big deal, see whats up with him. Like i said, he could be stressed, or something has changed in his diet or taking pills? Hopefully not this, this is a womens worst nightmare about the man they truely love, maybe he's just not interested in you that way anymore, which would be something you would have to work out, and if not its better to love than not have loved at all.
When you talk to him, remember don't pressure sex on him, and dont make it a big deal. Just snoop around it and youl find an answer. If you cant find anything wrong, do something sexy that will turn him on and interested something you think hed like but dont over do it.

September 28, 2010 - 4:16pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Dont just assume he is cheating on you, unless he has done it before. He could just have alot on his mind, or just doesn't have a high sex drive as before. What I would do if it has really been that long, talk to him tell him how you feel, but don't pressure sex on him, kinda be like "Baby I've been noticing lately that you haven't been that interested in having sex." or something along them lines. Don't turn it into a big deal, see whats up with him. Like i said, he could be stressed, or something has changed in his diet or taking pills? Hopefully not this, this is a womens worst nightmare about the man they truely love, maybe he's just not interested in you that way anymore, which would be something you would have to work out, and if not its better to love than not have loved at all.
When you talk to him, remember don't pressure sex on him, and dont make it a big deal. Just snoop around it and youl find an answer. If you cant find anything wrong, do something sexy that will turn him on and interested something you think hed like but dont over do it.

September 28, 2010 - 4:16pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Dont just assume he is cheating on you, unless he has done it before. He could just have alot on his mind, or just doesn't have a high sex drive as before. What I would do if it has really been that long, talk to him tell him how you feel, but don't pressure sex on him, kinda be like "Baby I've been noticing lately that you haven't been that interested in having sex." or something along them lines. Don't turn it into a big deal, see whats up with him. Like i said, he could be stressed, or something has changed in his diet or taking pills? Hopefully not this, this is a womens worst nightmare about the man they truely love, maybe he's just not interested in you that way anymore, which would be something you would have to work out, and if not its better to love than not have loved at all.
When you talk to him, remember don't pressure sex on him, and dont make it a big deal. Just snoop around it and youl find an answer. If you cant find anything wrong, do something sexy that will turn him on and interested something you think hed like but dont over do it.

September 28, 2010 - 4:15pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

change your dressing code when nest you are visiting him, b' you do stay away for a longer time than you used to. change colours of your undies, even if he is not making any move find your way to make him see your strange colored inner wears, if he falls for this then he has been cheating.
but if he did not try to find out what his problem is, it is likely to be external.

July 19, 2010 - 4:21pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Im going thru the same thing. My husband and i HAve been together for 5 years, we even have a daughter together. He swears that hes not cheating on me, he even swore on our daughter. I dont know what to think. He says that he just feel like it. What should i do. Its hurting me feelings and my self esteem so bad that i cry at nights.

April 8, 2010 - 12:48pm
(reply to Anonymous)

We went for almost 2 months no sex, and I had come out of a 20yr marriage with NO Sex for 10 years! There is no easy answer since everyone is different. But this did Work for Me! ok Change your daily routeen. Fix your hair different ,wear your makeup different. (this is to get his Attention) buy yourself a new sexy but classy outfit, or pull somehting out of the closet that will make his eyes pop, tight pants, breasts pushed up so he can really see them, or at least peek at them! Now be sweet to him and helpful . Use "body language" very important. and walk with confidence! practice sexy face expressions in the mirror, especailly looking and acting with confidence as you BE Sexy!. Look in the mirror and LIKE who you see! YOU! now go into public with this new sexy attitude, smile, be confident. You may even notice a few looks from other men ! Now do not give your man so much attention, kind of ignore him a little(men LOVEa little mystery in a woman) THIS IS THE KEY . but do give him flirty looks Here is another thing if you go out to the store where ever either alone or with your man , "Take" this sexy , confident, dressed hot, New YOU out with you.lol Others will notice you And when your man notices others looking at you HE will pay more attention to you. Do not act "slutty " there is a difference. But if you Do get your man's attention whisper in his ear , "The things I want to do to You Baby , mmmn" Then walk away fast! if he doesn't follow you and ask you "what do you want to do to me?" Just give it a few days , maybe even a week. and remember be patient , very important. Remember you got to spice it up a bit, he is probably in a slump, and down in the dumps, ok.
Remember don't just Act happy Be Happy. Love yourself and others will too. And if he doesn't well then maybe it is time to take a good look at things and decide is This really for me or do I Deserve to be happy with someone who will give back ,not just take all the time. do not argue do not talk about ANYTHING that is negative! I found This was KILLING our relationship. Don't get discouraged if you dress up sexy in a teddy and he is not ready for action. Be sweet to him. Give him a goodnight kiss he won't forget and touch him briefly down there. That usually puts a guy on the right track and it does take some work. Say,"I love honey" and slide your tongue across your upper lips! when in bed say goodnight baby, and kiss him 3 times on the back of his neck. There are so many things you can do. I got so frustrated and cried, and even That didn't work. But this plan I listed above got his attention fast! also when he noticed other guys checking me out and talking to me it got him interrested in me again, BUT DO NOT Try to get him jealous on purpose!EVER! this NEVER works!. we now have sex at least 2x's a week ,but I love how he now likes to cuddle with me, try that. say I just want to snuggle with you and then when he does, slide your hand on his leg massaging it gently. Also You get involved with other things, going places, reading a great book after all you deserve it. If he really loves you he will come around. Use what God gave you (no not your looks lol) the Art of "persuassion!" read about it and how to use your voice in a calm, sexy, sweet way to convince him he's got to have you ! Think it , see it ,believe it, and it Will happen

March 14, 2010 - 8:51pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Neanie)

Thank you!!!! I've been frustrated for the same reason and is kind of a relief to hear that I am not alone in this situation (sorry is not that I want anyone to go to the same frustration..).
I was going to talk to him tonight again about our situation but I realized that just annoys him more... and is actually Killing our relationship..

I will start using your advice now as I think is the most useful I found in the internet... THANK YOU! I have a good feeling and I think it will work.

We have been together for a year and we live together since 5 months ago. We have sex maybe 4-6 times a moth ( 1 or 2 per week) for the last 4 months... sometimes even less... but is because I always start the sex. He also rejected me many times and that is what upset me and worries me that he doesn’t want me anymore and he just does it because he feels that he has to...

He also just started going to the gym every day from the past months and he has a new healthy diet. He los a LOT of weight and he look gorgeous ( so I want him more).
I haven't lost or gain weight since we started dating... I do not have a perfect body but I look very good and I feel very attractive. This worries me because I feel like for the first time, I am concerned about my self steem.
Also is the affection problem.. I am very affectionate person and love to kiss, hug, cuddle etc. He is not. But is just the way he is. I know he loves me but sometimes if he doesn't show it to me.. is not enough..
I am also very sociable and he is not… I don’t mind we work things well.. but all my friends and people that knows me says that he is a great guy but we are just too different.

H e doesn't like to talk about it and immediately that turns into a fight.
Any thought??

July 13, 2010 - 12:08pm
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