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What is the difference between your first child and your third child?

By March 20, 2009 - 1:48pm
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Just for some Friday fun, I thought moms (and dads) everywhere might enjoy this.

I can attest that it's mostly true!

Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of the ways having a second and third child is different from having your first.

Your Clothes
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Preparing for the Birth
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

The Layette
1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

Additional Details
1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown-you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every 2 to 3 hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, BabySwing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

1st child: when first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: when 2nd child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for coin to pass.
3rd child: when 3rd child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!

Add a Comment5 Comments

I am laughing so loudly at all this!

And, from the point of view of BEING the firstborn:

First child's curfew: 10 p.m.
Second child's curfew: midnight
Third child's curfew: before breakfast

First child's school expectations: A's, unless you have a really good explanation.
Second child's school expectations: B's, and the teacher says that's fine.
Third child's school expectations, C's are good as long as you're not in the principal's office.

On how the first child dresses: You're not wearing that.
On how the second child dresses: You're wearing that?
On how the third child dresses: At least he's wearing something.

I could go on and on. But my sister (second child) and brother (third child) could probably add too much of their own here, so I'll stop, LOL.

March 23, 2009 - 9:51am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Diane Porter)

This made me laugh too i have three kids under the age of five and this all fits how i am

May 26, 2011 - 8:40pm
(reply to Diane Porter)

haha! I'm the firstborn, as well. But, since I'm also the family adventurer (started as soon as I could walk), I never stuck around long enough to see how birth order affected anyone else. Besides, I grew up wearing a uniform (parochial girls schools).

I love the grade expectations, too funny!

March 23, 2009 - 4:17pm

BargainLover and Alysiak, this info is so hilarious. I only have two kids so I cannot speak for a third one, but what you said is so true! My son who is the second child always asks why he does not have pictures of him as a baby. Actually he does, but we forgot to capture so many moments with him! I hope I do not regret it...

March 20, 2009 - 10:37pm

1st child: you take more photos than Eastman Kodak and keep an album
2nd child: you take fewer photos and stash them in a box
3rd child: the photos are of all 3, but rarely of the child alone, so that one grows up to be the family photographer


March 20, 2009 - 8:23pm
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