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Q: 

If my boyfriend touches my vagina over one layer of clothing, am I sexually active?

By Anonymous March 25, 2019 - 7:38pm
 
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I have a neurological disability that makes my muscles extremely tight. Pap smears are not an option for me as they are incredibly painful and ineffective. My OB/GYN said that I would not have to worry about getting another one until I was sexually active. Recently my boyfriend touched me briefly, using a skirt as a barrier so he did not touch the skin. I was a bit paranoid so we stopped. The next time we got together, he touched me over underwear and shorts. It was pleasant but left my body irritated for a couple days.

I'm frightened of the Pap smear because something actually going [in]causes me pain, but this new aspect of our relationship is bringing us closer and I don't want to stop.

Does this count as sexually active? Do I need to get a Pap smear? I'm not doing PIV anything because of the risk of pregnancy not to mention what I just mentioned above, but anything that does not count as the medical definition of sexually active is okay. I want to try it again, but the two layers of clothing was hard on my skin, is it okay to do just one layer based on my qualifications?

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SusanC
Supporter
HERWriter Guide

Hello Anon

Thank you for writing.

Sexually active means a woman or man is engaging in intercourse - oral, vaginal, anal. Touching over a layer of clothing is not considered sexually active in this sense and would not require pap testing.

I do hope your disability can help treat your pain and that intercourse is something you take part in - and enjoy - some day.
Best,
Susan

March 26, 2019 - 6:58am

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