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I like my boyfriend but i don't want to marry him. What to do ?

By May 21, 2018 - 12:04pm
 
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we are in relationship since 2 years. i like him , but i don't want to marry him. i cannot break up with him. otherwise i'll be alone ( we have common friends). i am from a higher class family and he belongs to an orthodox lower middle class family. our status is not equal. iam planning to go abroad for further studies and he's planning to do job and stop studying just to earn some bucks for his family. i know he is right in his place but i always wanted to marry a man who would be a perfect match for me. but not a boy like him who doesn't know how to speak properly. I am waiting for this last year. because next year we'll not be together. i don't want to maintain a long distance relationship with someone whom i don't want to marry after 7 years. what to do ? i know that everything will be over one day since i am not at all patient with him . But will it be okay to be in relationship with someone for 3 years and then marrying other man after 7 years ? Do i have to go with the flow and end the relation now. but i know i cannot end it i will be so weak and lonely .

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HERWriter Guide

Hello AnveshaSharma

Thank you for writing!

It sounds like you may come from India and still living under the caste system where one is born into a certain "class" and can never leave it.
You have also written about this situation many times.

I think you are thinking about your life on your terms only. How you will feel and how breaking up will affect you.
It won't be easy for you at first but it sounds like you have strong future plans both educationally and romantically. This is a good thing! You'll be fine and happier in the long run if you end this relationship as you realize he is not the right man for you.

The best thing you can do is break up with this young man and allow him to be free to be with a woman who will love him for who is is. I think you would be doing him a great service by being honest and ending things gently as to allow him to find a women worthy of him because you are not.
Best,
Susan

May 21, 2018 - 6:19pm
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