Facebook Pixel
EmpowHER Guest
Q: 

How to remove the fear of pain of first intercourse?

By Anonymous July 13, 2009 - 4:05am
 
Rate This
im scared to have sex

Via Unsplash

i'm newly married but i always keep myself away from being intercourse with my husband because I'm scared of sex for the first time. He sometimes angry with me but i'm totally helpless. Whenever we proceed for intercourse but i feel fear of pain and resist him doing intercourse. Please help me so that i can remove this tension and keep my husband happy. I don't want to be scared of sex.

Add a Comment122 Comments

EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Emmaisur)

Hello i want to ask you that medicine actually work it... Anyone can take it plz help me...

March 27, 2017 - 8:52am
(reply to Emmaisur)

I have the same problem and I never heard of this MDMA ecstasy. Where do you get it from?

June 11, 2016 - 7:11am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I understand! I didn't have intercourse with my husband for the first 8months of my marriage. I was terrified. Cried. Yelled. It hurt him. I was hurt. I was abused when I was younger and came into my marriage as a virgin. I was so scared. Talking with others helped. Counseling would be helpful. There is help out there for it. Your fear is understandable. I get it. I also prayed a lot. Plus, it hurts mentally and emotionally. After 8months, I made a mental decision to just do it and I jumped on him and came down on him. So I co trolled the pain. It helped. It was mental. I had to get my mind made up. But him on top never worked. I was terrified. It took me 8months. I still have trouble a little with him on top. Or even getting any vaginal exam. We're now almost 1 year in our marriage. And we're pregnant. So you will overcome!!!

June 18, 2015 - 3:50pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Good afternoon and thanks for your encouraging comments.
Today makes my marriage one month and I sincerely need help. We have not been able to have our first sex, since we are both virgins. Due to the pain I experience, I often struggle and push him away. My husband has been so understanding but he just told me how unhappy I am making him and I really want to please him. I am just so unhappy.

January 15, 2016 - 9:18pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Hiii, I am married and am afraid of doing intercourse with my husband I always get aside while trying to do it and due to this our sexual married life is hurting, I am in great tension please help me

June 10, 2015 - 2:22am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I have been married 9months back. Im 23 and he is 28. My husband loves me alot. Till two years back i was very normal and had lot of sexual feeling. I felt that i would enjoy sex the most in the future. He takes very good care of me.. I want to do anything for him. But.. at the time of intercourse.. im unable to allow him. Donno why i'm so scared of intercourse!! we do all the fore play etc.. but still my vagina does'nt get so wet as i used to get in the past. I just push him and start crying when he try to enter me though its little wet sometimes. He says that my vagina is very small and its all because of my anxiety and fear. He gives me lot of counselling to over come the fear. But still im unable to loose the fear. Im unable to allow even his finger inside me. Im very frustrated and unable to concentrate on anything. Our families are asking us about our plan to make our family big. Im getting scared that i can never become pregnant if im this way. My husband never force me for sex..and never say anything negative about me. Please help me... Your replies are very valuable for me.

May 13, 2015 - 9:01am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Im in the same position, i really wanna do it but the nerves get to me Then i stop being wet and i get fustrated because i just can't do it

May 17, 2015 - 9:02am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

How to remove the fear of pain of first intercourse

February 22, 2015 - 6:02pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Well i guess i am the older sufferer of this 'afraid of intercourse/etc'. I've been married for 8 years and 4 months to a loving and very patient husband. We're both virgins until now. I've been through alot of times rhinking if i can numb it or if can take drugs or any sleeping pills just not to feel the pain. well i've tried being drunk, and guess what happened? We ended up arguing. Because i vomit or puke alot that it made him so upset. And until now im still suffering with this problem. I still dont know what to do. i am 32 yrs old.and i want to have kida. But everytime we tried to do it we only ended up for nothing. I cried so many es because of this sjsjjsjsjs problem. Ple

January 24, 2015 - 6:33am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I been married for nearly 4 years and still with the same issue exactly what your having, iv even had a smear test done whilst iv been put on anathetic thinkn itl take thngs off my mind but no still stuck with same fear i wish we cud get some help

February 1, 2015 - 2:33am
Image CAPTCHA
Enter the characters shown in the image.
By submitting this form, you agree to EmpowHER's terms of service and privacy policy
Add a Comment

All user-generated information on this site is the opinion of its author only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. Members and guests are responsible for their own posts and the potential consequences of those posts detailed in our Terms of Service.

Sexual Health

Get Email Updates

Resource Centers

Related Checklists

Sexual Health Guide

HERWriter Guide

Have a question? We're here to help. Ask the Community.

ASK

Health Newsletter

Receive the latest and greatest in women's health and wellness from EmpowHER - for free!