having painful sex

Hello Anonymous,

Welcome to EmpowHER. I am glad that you reached out to our community for advice.

I urge you to schedule an appointment with your gynecologist as soon as possible. It is important to rule out gynecologic conditions that may be causing your pain.

Pain during sex may be a sign of a gynecologic problem, such as ovarian cysts or endometriosis. It may be caused by problems with sexual response, such as a lack of desire or a lack of arousal. Arousal is both the physical and emotional changes that occur in the body as a result of sexual stimulation.

Where do you feel the pain?

A woman may feel pain in her vulva, which is in the area surrounding the opening of the vagina , or within her vagina. The perineum is a common site of pain during sex. You also may feel pain in your lower back, pelvic region, uterus, or bladder.

Emotions such as fear, guilt, shame, embarrassment, or awkwardness about having sex may make it hard to relax. When you cannot relax, arousal is difficult, and pain may result. Stress and fatigue can affect your desire to have sex.

In the meantime, you might want to want to focus on oral sex or mutual masturbation. Try nonsexual, but sensual, activities like massage. Make time for sex. Set aside a time when neither you nor your partner is tired or anxious.

Talk to your partner. Tell your partner where and when you feel pain, as well as what activities you find pleasurable.

Take pain-relieving steps before sex: empty your bladder, take a warm bath, or take an over-the-counter pain reliever before intercourse.

To relieve burning after intercourse, apply ice or a frozen gel pack wrapped in a small towel to the vulva.

I hope that in some way, I have helped.

Maryann