Finding the Best Work-life Balance

I think they are but often end up sacrificing themselves for the 'good' of their jobs and families. No-one ever asks a man how he combines family and work, but they always ask a woman because she is the one who holds the family together. Women run their homes and families, not men. That's just the truth of the matter. And so many women work now, as well, that they do double and triple duty to keep it all together.

I know I am guilty of spending next to no time alone. I am probably without my children 3 hours every month which my friends say is unhealthy but what am I supposed to do - leave them home alone?

Good babysitters are hard to come by and they cost a lot of money. But I know it's up to me to simply say to my husband that I need a morning off some weekend, so I can go to the store alone (which is such a treat) or to go to a coffee shop and read for an hour. But for some reason I don't do it. I'm afraid the house will be a mess when I get home, thus causing another hour of clean up for me so it's not even worth it!

But it's me who can't walk away and just take a breather. Men do it all the time, I don't know why I can't.

Why are women supposed to be the ones who create the balance between work and family?

The reality is that most employers couldn't care less.

Moms make multi-tasking an art form. There aren't that many dads who can be as efficient, or reliable.

Women have a natural tendency to want to do it all and not ask for help. Thank goodness I had my mom, or I'd have been committed to the sanitarium, long ago.

Moms are women, first. It's okay to look like one. As Tim Gunn of Project Runway says, the most distressing thing he sees is the "slobification of American," referring to the sloppy condition the typical mom lets herself fall into, even though she may think she looks nice.

Everyone has an individual notion of what "balance" means. Letting go of things that don't really matter all that much allows you to find "balance," like not caring whether the baseboards are cleaned every week.

You know you've achieved balance when your family is happy. Happy mom or wife, happy family; that's the way it goes. Work should always come after family. You should never ignore yourself, but always keep things in perspective.

It's a tough job, and it seems women are best equipped to handle it.

The way I create a work-life balance is to think of my life as a book, with different chapters, and the overall "balance" happens when you look at the entire book. Each chapter does not have to be a forced 50-50% work-life balance. Sometimes it is 80-20%; other times it is 20-80%.

So, I had a chapter when I was in college and a young professional in my first "real" job, and worked many, many hours. My focus was work at 90%.

Then, I had a chapter where I became a mom, and slowly my work-life balance shifted to closer to 50-50%; sometimes it was 10% job and 90% "life"...

Anyways, you get the idea! I was so overwhelmed with trying (read: forcing) to make my life "balanced" that I wasn't happy no matter what I was doing. By giving my family my undivided attention when I'm with them (not thinking about work!!) and giving my work undivided attention (hee hee) when I'm at work helps me to feel more "purposeful" and "in the moment", which is how I define "balance".