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Pam,
I am sorry that you are having pain with intercourse...sex is supposed to feel pleasurable, so that is extremely frustrating.

I am looking up some information for you, but have a follow-up question: you mentioned that you have a "small vagina", and I have to ask, compared to what measure? The actual vagina is meant to stretch to an incredible width as the birth canal. You said the pain feels like "tearing", which I assume is upon penetration, on the outside or near the front opening (instead of the pain being from thrusting and something being "bumped" inside). Is this correct?

Here is what the ]]>Kinsey Institute]]> says about vaginal size:
"In regard to the vagina, it is important to know that vaginas can change in size during sexual excitement thanks to a pretty amazing process called "vaginal tenting". What happens is this: vaginas start out at about 3-4 inches in length (during an unaroused state). During sexual excitement, muscular tension pulls the uterus upward, which has the effect of making the vagina both longer and wider. Now, instead of being 3-4 inches in length, a vagina may reach approximately 5-6 inches in length – big enough to more comfortably accommodate penetration with a man’s penis, a sex toy or a partner’s fingers".

According to the Mayo Clinic, researchers estimate that up to 60 percent of women experience episodes of genital pain that occurs just before, during or after intercourse. Painful intercourse, or dyspareunia, is common. Most women with dyspareunia complain of superficial pain, which occurs upon penetration (the "tearing" that you are having).

It is interesting that you said lubrication is not working, as that would be one possible solution. Depending on how much your body is naturally lubricating, and how much lubrication you are using, your partner's penis can FEEL bigger/smaller! What type of lubrication are you currently using? There are many great brands on the market that I can suggest trying.

I'll write again soon with some more information and helpful suggestions...

July 8, 2008 - 1:21pm

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