Thank you for writing - it's never a bad thing to get your thoughts out on the screen.
You've had a good marriage for 20 years and a bad marriage for 20. Caregiver stress is very real and you need support. Go online and do a search for caregivers and put in your town or zip code. You can meet with other caregivers who are living lives similar to yours. It's not talked about enough but you are not alone.
As to your wife - she has a lot of conditions she lives with - no wonder she's bitchy! But if she is abusing you verbally, it's not ok, even if she's in pain. You should not have to live with that for the past 20 years or the next 20.
Whether she goes into nursing care is really up to her, you cannot force her. You can also move out and visit daily to help. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks - they don't live your life. It's not ok to desert your wife but a compromise needs to be made.
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Hello Anon
Thank you for writing - it's never a bad thing to get your thoughts out on the screen.
You've had a good marriage for 20 years and a bad marriage for 20. Caregiver stress is very real and you need support. Go online and do a search for caregivers and put in your town or zip code. You can meet with other caregivers who are living lives similar to yours. It's not talked about enough but you are not alone.
As to your wife - she has a lot of conditions she lives with - no wonder she's bitchy! But if she is abusing you verbally, it's not ok, even if she's in pain. You should not have to live with that for the past 20 years or the next 20.
Whether she goes into nursing care is really up to her, you cannot force her. You can also move out and visit daily to help. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks - they don't live your life. It's not ok to desert your wife but a compromise needs to be made.
Best,
February 6, 2020 - 4:42pmSusan
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