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HERWriter Guide

Hello Anon

Thank you for writing!

You are in a difficult position. Having a husband is distinct from having a boyfriend or partner inasmuch as you have a lot more legal rights when you are married. Marriage is not just a piece of paper as it also shows a commitment to adhering to those legal rights, as well as love and friendship and the possibility of raising children together. But that certainly doesn't mean that all married people are committed.

It's a good thing that your partner is an active and involved father. It seems he may have checked out of his relationship with you. Being tired isn't a good enough excuse in the long run. Many couples work 40-50 hours a week and still spend plenty of time with their children and spouses. But this takes a bit of effort.

His anti-social stance does not have to be yours. Make sure you see family and friends as much as you can and it's fantastic that you have gone back to school - well done!

Anon, if your partner won't communicate, you can't make him. And you can't fix him. Suggest counseling for both of you and if he refuses, then go for yourself. It seems like you have some very important decisions to make. If you want changes, you may have to make them yourself. Get your ducks in a row (financially) and keep your education and therapy moving along. You owe it to yourself.

Best,
Susan

December 4, 2018 - 4:20pm

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