Agree with Rosa, sex may have become a chore or job... Fun, spontaneity, passion, even mystery can fade with the sexual act. Massage without expectations can do wonders, especially expectation that "he is inside you" all is well. It's not for him. Make an appointment for a conversation... Ask him would he be available in next 24 hrs to talk about having fun with each other, in & out of your 'sexual' relationship.
Have him pick time & place for this dialogue. Make some rules, no interupting, making or just as importantly no responding to facial expressions.
Ask him to go first, brainstorming... you write down his response. What are 5-10 things he "guesses" or "imagines" you love to do to have fun. Change roles.
Then the sex or R to X-rated list... Same question, but with a 'playful' challenge: "I bet _____ you can't name 5 things I like/love to do sexually!" You go first guessing what he dies for ... He writes down your guesses. Reverse roles. Now each take your own list and put a check mark by these 'correct' guesses.
Now you each have two checked lists. In next 5 days each has to pick one checked item on 'the others' list and do it! Of course ask them... Or just surprise them!
Idea is to bring fun and spontaneity back into your relationship ;)
And, yes I do do this for a living ;) I also walk to talk... I do this in my relationship. And guess what? It works... everytime either of us 'remembers' to "pick-a-list"! That's what we've name our 'love-game', and we've made others... some very X-rated! ;) (How about name 3 fantasies you've never told another person?)
Rembering that the biggest sex organ we humans have is in our head and helps a lot in plotting and planning for sexual compatibility, fun, passion, and eroticism.
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Agree with Rosa, sex may have become a chore or job... Fun, spontaneity, passion, even mystery can fade with the sexual act. Massage without expectations can do wonders, especially expectation that "he is inside you" all is well. It's not for him. Make an appointment for a conversation... Ask him would he be available in next 24 hrs to talk about having fun with each other, in & out of your 'sexual' relationship.
Have him pick time & place for this dialogue. Make some rules, no interupting, making or just as importantly no responding to facial expressions.
Ask him to go first, brainstorming... you write down his response. What are 5-10 things he "guesses" or "imagines" you love to do to have fun. Change roles.
Then the sex or R to X-rated list... Same question, but with a 'playful' challenge: "I bet _____ you can't name 5 things I like/love to do sexually!" You go first guessing what he dies for ... He writes down your guesses. Reverse roles. Now each take your own list and put a check mark by these 'correct' guesses.
Now you each have two checked lists. In next 5 days each has to pick one checked item on 'the others' list and do it! Of course ask them... Or just surprise them!
Idea is to bring fun and spontaneity back into your relationship ;)
And, yes I do do this for a living ;) I also walk to talk... I do this in my relationship. And guess what? It works... everytime either of us 'remembers' to "pick-a-list"! That's what we've name our 'love-game', and we've made others... some very X-rated! ;) (How about name 3 fantasies you've never told another person?)
Rembering that the biggest sex organ we humans have is in our head and helps a lot in plotting and planning for sexual compatibility, fun, passion, and eroticism.
Come back here and tell us what worked ;)))
January 5, 2012 - 3:53pmThis Comment
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