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You guys are all in denial. And you know it. If he isn't having much sex with you, and hiding the fact he's mesturbating or even not allowing you to join.. Any of those circumstances, even if he's using you to finish off, he doesn't want you anymore. It's sad but it's the truth. You wouldn't be posting here looking for a positive answer if something wasn't really wrong. Sex brings two people together on a whole nother level, and is the most intimate/connection you can be with each other. If one of you would rather masturbate than have sex with you then I'm sorry but that means that connection and desire is gone. Yes masturbation feels different than sex but I, and anyone in love prefer sex way more. Or if anything to masturbate each other or masturbate and then go into a quick sex session. Also masturabtion js usually when the person wants to imagine and think of someone or something other than you. Why would they masturbate about you if your right there? No. They are doing it bc they are thinking of someone or something else or watching porn. In my old relationship I would masturbate a lot because I am vey sexual and lost all desire for the woman I was with. When I had desired and loved her dearly I was too excited and we would go at it constantly, after we both changed and sort of grew apart and she nagged and basically just weren't in love anymore, I masturbated as frequently as possible when I could to think about anyone but her. Even next to her so I can have fantasies involving her in a way of cheating on her or humiliating her (what I think your men are doing when masturbating next to you, knowing you know. To humiliate you secretly just like I and other friends have admitted to) but with the woman I am married to now, geez...that stuff sounds so horrible and miserable. I have sex with her whenever I possibly can, and I don't really masturbate anymore even though I used to all the time and have a high sex drive. Or if I do, it's in front of her, encouraging her to help me or masturbate with each other. Sometimes In the morning or night when she for some reason isn't home I will go at it, but usually asking her for pics and thinking about her or a 3 some. But that's pretty rare and like i said, isn't a secret and usually involving her. That's love and that's desire and that's how it should be. Your situations scream my old relationship only kinda worse for some posts...the guys commenting are just douche bags like your bf trying to convince you nothing is happening. A couple guys even said your "delusional" look up "gas lighting" that's what your bf and these men commenting are doing to you. PLEASE look it up. It is a manipulative behavior men do that is a huge red flag to leave. They do something that obviously hurts you and isn't okay, you confront them with genuine feelings, they turn the situation around somehow like you did somehing wrong and they are in the right and you are left confused and feeling somehow to blame.thats Gas lighting. And your not crazy or wrong, that's why your on this post your not crazy. He is. He's manipulative and unfortunately does not desire or love you and this is a sign to get the hell out before it's worse or he cheats if he hasn't already. Take this as a good thing that your senses came on and you learned this sooner than later. Your gut knows what's going on, your subconscious does too. But he keeps assuring you that your wrong, it's time to come to reality that he is wrong. The relationship is dead. Maybe if he admits to gas lighting and is willing to fix his problems with you and admits to everything, and it seems genuine and the whole truth... Like for instance maybe the pregnancy turns him off and he does not desire you but willing to admit it and work on it and have better communication and honesty with youu and you see improvement then that's the only way.. You not only have a manipulative douchebag for a boyfriend who has no respect for you and obviously has some fewer psychological issues but he's also untrustworthy and lacks communication skills. That's pretty much everything that makes a relationship, which you don't have or have the opposite of, why the hell are you staying with that??? That's not even a relationship. Sounds like you women are scared to be alone or too comfortable or having a kid seems to assure you staying with such a disaster but let me tell you it doesn't. If you do still love him then this will be hard but you gotta leave him, but I kinda figure most of you think you love him but you don't, your just not used to anything else and he's your life now. Leave him and see what happens, seeing that most of these men are manipulative he may use that to try and get you back and things might be different for a little bit, but they will go back to the same. My wife used to also have a boyfriend like you all are describing and it scared me because that was me at one time, same situation different story. And she's so happy now, she was miserable then and constantly questioning everything because the bastard took her confidence, happiness and stability away. That's what their plan is though. Do yourself a favor and listen to your gut feeling and get out! I'm sure there are plenty other google searches "is this normal, is this okay, does he still love me" the answer is NO. Everyone you see on these forums combining you otherwise is just trying to convince themselves the same thing. If nothing was wrong why are ou so doubtful? Why do you feel sick to your stomach and confused? Why are you unhappy? Why do you wuestion him or your relationship? Why aren't you having sex and he's keeping secrets and lying to you?? Why are you miserable. You know why. Stop going by what he's making you believe, or what the past is telling you. How you remember him and the love you had. Listen to the present. Who he is right now, what the relationship is now...all those demons and feelings and questions you have I stated above. That gut feeling. Listen to ALL of those signs. People change unfortunately, love goes away, true colors show. You don't even know a person they say until 2 years and fully know them in about 5. People mistake the infactuation phase as love when love doesn't happen until you stay with the person after those feelings go away. The point is, listen to the now and not the then. He's not the same, and he's taking you down with him. Especially if your about to bring a kid into this world, don't put that child through the same shit. He will use his manipulation to twist that child's view and hurt you both. This isn't just about sex. At all really. And you know it. Don't be like my aunt who went through this and 35 years later just now leaving him because she's tired of the manipulation and other women and misery. The family and eveyone knew long ago, but she wouldn't listen to her gut and her family. And now she's 50 some years old, alone and broken. Even her children believe their daddy because he's manipulative and good at it. Yet he critizes them to the point they break, and ditches them for young dates always with an excuse. Who knows what else, everything in that side of the family is a secret and lies. Do you want that? Trapped and eventually alone and ditched if you don't do it now he will eventually. When us men start to lose all respect along with any feelings and desire for you, and can manipulate you and know you will never leave us because we have you confused and wrapped around our pinky...we will use that as much as we can, and once we see how far we can go we will test it further and further until we are cheating blatantly in front of you. Or for some cases beating you. It's sad world but it's common and it's the truth. I'm glad I changed my ways due to finding a woman who made me question everything and I got into therapy for what made me into who I was. But theese men will not change for you. Your not that women unfortunately and for a lot it's a lost case, there isn't any "that women" out there for them. Just a bunch of toys to use and manipualite and trade for younger ones. You may think I'm shitty for what I admired to, but the truth is it's very common. I'm just genuine and admitting to it all. The whole "it's so hard to find a real man" thing is completely true. Think about it, so many women have a mood disorder or personality. Most actually. So what, us men are just immune to that? No. We hide it and lie. We have just as many problems if not more. But we don't see doctors or admit to them, and they do not interfere with many lives. Infact most men love it and use their problems to their advantage like your men and like my friends and my aunts ex and my dad.....LEAVE before your another victim. Take it as a learning life lesson. You'll now know what to look for in the next men and the red flags before your feelings get involved. Remmeber the "it takes a year or two to know someone"....it will be unintentional, but when your on their bad side or just by slip on accident...their true colors will show and you must pay close attention when they do, because it's not just an accident or "I've never acted like that, or I'll never do that again" it is who he is, and it will be much more prevalent later on in the relationship. Watch for the signs ladies, and trust your gut and instincts...

July 11, 2017 - 11:31am


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