Hi,
You can share with him credible sources of information regarding facts about birth control methods and their effectiveness rate, and then you can understand that he may have not been emotionally ready to have sex. The most important aspect of a sexual relationship is trust, and this is not "about you" or him not trusting you. He is emotionally scared, not wanting to mess up, and knows enough about himself that he is not ready to have a baby. There is a lot of maturity on his part, and he also realizes that the only 100% effective way NOT to become pregnant is abstinence. There are VERY effective ways not to become pregnant: condoms are up to 98% effective, and that's highly effective. The other birth control methods that are highly effective are hormonal birth control options (such as the pill) which is 99% effective.
Share with him the statistics, and instead of trying to prove him wrong...be on his side and show him you trust him and his judgment, and understand his fear. Condoms are up to 98% effective, and he doubled-up on birth control methods by using the Withdrawal Method (or "pull out" method) which increases the effectiveness even greater. You can let him know how much you appreciate his thoughtfullness, his being concerned about both of your futures and your health. You can also suggest that while sex was (fill in the blank with positive description!), that perhaps waiting to have sex again, until after your period begins in mid-November would be best until you both trust the process more. There are many other things you can both do to show your physical affection and be intimate without having penile-to-vaginal intercourse (if his naked penis is near your naked vagina, however, please make sure he is wearing a condom, even if you do not intend to have sex....it can happen quickly in the heat of the moment!).
Here is a great resource that compares effectiveness rates of birth control options: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control-4211.htm
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Hi,
You can share with him credible sources of information regarding facts about birth control methods and their effectiveness rate, and then you can understand that he may have not been emotionally ready to have sex. The most important aspect of a sexual relationship is trust, and this is not "about you" or him not trusting you. He is emotionally scared, not wanting to mess up, and knows enough about himself that he is not ready to have a baby. There is a lot of maturity on his part, and he also realizes that the only 100% effective way NOT to become pregnant is abstinence. There are VERY effective ways not to become pregnant: condoms are up to 98% effective, and that's highly effective. The other birth control methods that are highly effective are hormonal birth control options (such as the pill) which is 99% effective.
Share with him the statistics, and instead of trying to prove him wrong...be on his side and show him you trust him and his judgment, and understand his fear. Condoms are up to 98% effective, and he doubled-up on birth control methods by using the Withdrawal Method (or "pull out" method) which increases the effectiveness even greater. You can let him know how much you appreciate his thoughtfullness, his being concerned about both of your futures and your health. You can also suggest that while sex was (fill in the blank with positive description!), that perhaps waiting to have sex again, until after your period begins in mid-November would be best until you both trust the process more. There are many other things you can both do to show your physical affection and be intimate without having penile-to-vaginal intercourse (if his naked penis is near your naked vagina, however, please make sure he is wearing a condom, even if you do not intend to have sex....it can happen quickly in the heat of the moment!).
Here is a great resource that compares effectiveness rates of birth control options: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control-4211.htm
October 30, 2011 - 11:51amThis Comment
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