Sounds like you're trying to manage her depression without seeking professional help from a psychiatrist. That level of depression needs to be treated not just managed. I admire you for how you're handling it by not blaming her or belittling her feelings. You have to know that it really has nothing to do with you, but I think on a certain level she understands that no matter how much you want to help her and love her, you can't. I don't think she really means to make you feel bad, but this really is beyond your abilities. People who are mentally ill really don't have control over what they're saying or doing, they're just reacting out of their extreme pain or condition. Yes, she is being emotionally abusive; however, there is a psychiatric/psychological condition from which her words and attitudes are coming.
Before you walk down the aisle, I would really highly recommend that she seek professional help. There is often a chemical imbalance that needs to be treated medicinally when depression is that deep -- I'd also be curious how long this has been going on, if there were any recent triggers.
Anyway, to get your marriage off on a more solid footing, you and she need to do this. She might protest getting help and if she does, you need to guide her along through the referral and appointment process because it's the only thing that can help her. You also need to know and understand how hard it's going to be living day-to-day with that depression, and the professional can help you with that as well.
Thank you for sharing your story. Hope this helps.
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Sounds like you're trying to manage her depression without seeking professional help from a psychiatrist. That level of depression needs to be treated not just managed. I admire you for how you're handling it by not blaming her or belittling her feelings. You have to know that it really has nothing to do with you, but I think on a certain level she understands that no matter how much you want to help her and love her, you can't. I don't think she really means to make you feel bad, but this really is beyond your abilities. People who are mentally ill really don't have control over what they're saying or doing, they're just reacting out of their extreme pain or condition. Yes, she is being emotionally abusive; however, there is a psychiatric/psychological condition from which her words and attitudes are coming.
Before you walk down the aisle, I would really highly recommend that she seek professional help. There is often a chemical imbalance that needs to be treated medicinally when depression is that deep -- I'd also be curious how long this has been going on, if there were any recent triggers.
Anyway, to get your marriage off on a more solid footing, you and she need to do this. She might protest getting help and if she does, you need to guide her along through the referral and appointment process because it's the only thing that can help her. You also need to know and understand how hard it's going to be living day-to-day with that depression, and the professional can help you with that as well.
Thank you for sharing your story. Hope this helps.
September 11, 2014 - 11:37amThis Comment
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