I don't know you but I do because you are me and I am you.
In the 9th year of my marriage I was at the same place you find yourself today: starting to ask yourself if this whole thing is "right". You know down in your gut that something is wrong. Is this the way a husband should treat his wife? Is the reason you don't fight because you're making all the efforts to not piss him off because you're afraid of his anger? Let me say that again...you are afraid of the man who says he loves you. Yes, something is wrong and it's NOT you. You have just made one of the biggest steps and that's being honest with yourself that something is wrong. Warning.
My husband was so sweet...when he wasn't being an abusive jerk. But I stayed with him 11 years longer than where you're at now and it slowly became more intense even violent where I feared for my life and the safety of my 2 small children. I justified his behavior in every way possible. I ALWAYS had an excuse for him. He never said sorry but he didn't have to because I had already forgiven him for calling me horrific names or strangling me. I believed he would change because I was by his side and he just needed my love. I was wrong. I kicked him out after 20 years of being together. Since then it's like my body randomly goes into shock and I tremble, can't breathe and feel my heart racing rapidly. The same feeling I'd get when I knew that I was "in for it". Even though he's gone, the damage is so profound that i could have never realized it before he was gone because i was always too busy worrying what HE was feeling. Forgot your feelings, right? WRONG. You feel. You think. You are a human being.
I wanted to share just a little bit of my story with you. I was like you reaching out for somebody to justify that I wasn't crazy or that everything was not my fault. I had nobody except these websites to turn to (thank the heavens that they are here!). I never wrote. I listened. I identified with so many other women. We've all been there. We all know exactly what you're feeling and talking about. You are NOT alone and I've heard your voice and I'm telling you as an abuse survivor that you are beautiful and strong and this man who only wants you to be weak does not deserve your love. Be true to your heart and reach out to those who really care about YOUR well being. Stay safe and don't forget that your children need you to keep them safe (physically and emotionally) even if it is from their own dad. Good luck
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I don't know you but I do because you are me and I am you.
November 11, 2015 - 11:41pmIn the 9th year of my marriage I was at the same place you find yourself today: starting to ask yourself if this whole thing is "right". You know down in your gut that something is wrong. Is this the way a husband should treat his wife? Is the reason you don't fight because you're making all the efforts to not piss him off because you're afraid of his anger? Let me say that again...you are afraid of the man who says he loves you. Yes, something is wrong and it's NOT you. You have just made one of the biggest steps and that's being honest with yourself that something is wrong. Warning.
My husband was so sweet...when he wasn't being an abusive jerk. But I stayed with him 11 years longer than where you're at now and it slowly became more intense even violent where I feared for my life and the safety of my 2 small children. I justified his behavior in every way possible. I ALWAYS had an excuse for him. He never said sorry but he didn't have to because I had already forgiven him for calling me horrific names or strangling me. I believed he would change because I was by his side and he just needed my love. I was wrong. I kicked him out after 20 years of being together. Since then it's like my body randomly goes into shock and I tremble, can't breathe and feel my heart racing rapidly. The same feeling I'd get when I knew that I was "in for it". Even though he's gone, the damage is so profound that i could have never realized it before he was gone because i was always too busy worrying what HE was feeling. Forgot your feelings, right? WRONG. You feel. You think. You are a human being.
I wanted to share just a little bit of my story with you. I was like you reaching out for somebody to justify that I wasn't crazy or that everything was not my fault. I had nobody except these websites to turn to (thank the heavens that they are here!). I never wrote. I listened. I identified with so many other women. We've all been there. We all know exactly what you're feeling and talking about. You are NOT alone and I've heard your voice and I'm telling you as an abuse survivor that you are beautiful and strong and this man who only wants you to be weak does not deserve your love. Be true to your heart and reach out to those who really care about YOUR well being. Stay safe and don't forget that your children need you to keep them safe (physically and emotionally) even if it is from their own dad. Good luck
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