Yeah there is absolutely a point of no return when you have to leave I believe. I encountered this article randomly and read it mainly so I can be a better husband. While I certainly treated my wife much better than your husband treated you, I feel like your story is an example of a:"leave now, leave him for sure" scenario; mine is more of a story of how when your young, sometimes you can be in a borderline situation where it CAN go either way, either worse or better and I chose to be a better man as much as possible, and it took me time, but th8s is my story.
I met my wife at 16, we had incredible fantastic highschool sweetheart type relationship. At 18, I joined the army reserve, at 19, I transfered to regular force and suprise, same month we are unexpectedly having a baby(she was on birth control, medications interacted, a big challenge but a big blessing). For about 3 years I would have ocassionally met the criteria for emoional abuse probably... I used to yell a lot, sometimes I would punch the wall (never anywhere close to her and certainly not threatening"you next" kind of stuff, still NOT OK.)Keep in mind I was also not terrible all the time, I also told her I loved her everyday, was always very affectionate and while she was a stay at home mom, if she ever wanted ti do anything anywhere, I encouraged it 100%, I bought her whatever she asked for and ensured all her needs were met at all tines. But I wasbt perfect abd I felt it was all the pressure of being very young and supporting 3 people on 1 income, learning how to be a good father and partner while learning to be a good soldier was NOT easy, but I realized she deserved better and got help for my anxiety disorder that the army had kind-of developed in me(They also taught me many many good things and made me the confident man I am today, do not regret my service) By 22 I stopped punching stuff but still yelled. I decided quitting the army at the end of my terms of service would help me and my family, we would move back home, settle in the countryside, the military pressure would be off. Before I got out, I got anger conselor session, some time with psychiatrist, and post-army; I got out at age 24 I use medicinal marijuana for my stomach issues, but it also helps my anxiety big time. I NEVER yell anymore and only rarely raise my voice. We had a second child at 25, got married at 26 and are 27 now. While we still argue calmly about disagreements that pop uo here and there;
I feel like I have become a great husband and father, I still support a family of 4 on 1 income, but shes the one making that choice, I have encouraged her to go back to work whenever she feels like it and that I will pay for any course she wants to take to be whatever she wants to be(because she has no desire to go back to her teenage jobs of being a cashier at gas station and restaurants) , but she wants to wait until our second child is older and I am ok with that.
Point is some men are just plain bad, but sometimes good guys can be a bit bad when theyre young and immature like I was, but if they realise their faults, accept them and commit to being better men; it is within reach. If your man is straight-up bad, by all means leave; if you love him and believe he is better than that but he still treats you wrong; you should absolutely have a serious talk with leaving being on the table and if he really loves you, he will admit fault and change. If he doesn't, by all means leave now, leave fast and leave far as you need to get to make sure you are ok.
I realized this woman was my everything, my one and only, my hart and soul; and that I would do anything for her. Actually bad luck struck and she tripped while carrying our younger daughter and broke her ankle bad enough to need surgery. I've spent the last month taking care of her, cleaning the house, taking care of 2 kids, cooking, and still working to support the 4 of us and you know what I said when she said she felt bad that I had to do all that? "No I'm only sad about you being not able to do the things you want to do, I actually LIKE doing it all right now because it makes me appreciate the things that you do even more, and I finally get ab opportunity to be your knight in shining armour".
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Yeah there is absolutely a point of no return when you have to leave I believe. I encountered this article randomly and read it mainly so I can be a better husband. While I certainly treated my wife much better than your husband treated you, I feel like your story is an example of a:"leave now, leave him for sure" scenario; mine is more of a story of how when your young, sometimes you can be in a borderline situation where it CAN go either way, either worse or better and I chose to be a better man as much as possible, and it took me time, but th8s is my story.
I met my wife at 16, we had incredible fantastic highschool sweetheart type relationship. At 18, I joined the army reserve, at 19, I transfered to regular force and suprise, same month we are unexpectedly having a baby(she was on birth control, medications interacted, a big challenge but a big blessing). For about 3 years I would have ocassionally met the criteria for emoional abuse probably... I used to yell a lot, sometimes I would punch the wall (never anywhere close to her and certainly not threatening"you next" kind of stuff, still NOT OK.)Keep in mind I was also not terrible all the time, I also told her I loved her everyday, was always very affectionate and while she was a stay at home mom, if she ever wanted ti do anything anywhere, I encouraged it 100%, I bought her whatever she asked for and ensured all her needs were met at all tines. But I wasbt perfect abd I felt it was all the pressure of being very young and supporting 3 people on 1 income, learning how to be a good father and partner while learning to be a good soldier was NOT easy, but I realized she deserved better and got help for my anxiety disorder that the army had kind-of developed in me(They also taught me many many good things and made me the confident man I am today, do not regret my service) By 22 I stopped punching stuff but still yelled. I decided quitting the army at the end of my terms of service would help me and my family, we would move back home, settle in the countryside, the military pressure would be off. Before I got out, I got anger conselor session, some time with psychiatrist, and post-army; I got out at age 24 I use medicinal marijuana for my stomach issues, but it also helps my anxiety big time. I NEVER yell anymore and only rarely raise my voice. We had a second child at 25, got married at 26 and are 27 now. While we still argue calmly about disagreements that pop uo here and there;
I feel like I have become a great husband and father, I still support a family of 4 on 1 income, but shes the one making that choice, I have encouraged her to go back to work whenever she feels like it and that I will pay for any course she wants to take to be whatever she wants to be(because she has no desire to go back to her teenage jobs of being a cashier at gas station and restaurants) , but she wants to wait until our second child is older and I am ok with that.
Point is some men are just plain bad, but sometimes good guys can be a bit bad when theyre young and immature like I was, but if they realise their faults, accept them and commit to being better men; it is within reach. If your man is straight-up bad, by all means leave; if you love him and believe he is better than that but he still treats you wrong; you should absolutely have a serious talk with leaving being on the table and if he really loves you, he will admit fault and change. If he doesn't, by all means leave now, leave fast and leave far as you need to get to make sure you are ok.
I realized this woman was my everything, my one and only, my hart and soul; and that I would do anything for her. Actually bad luck struck and she tripped while carrying our younger daughter and broke her ankle bad enough to need surgery. I've spent the last month taking care of her, cleaning the house, taking care of 2 kids, cooking, and still working to support the 4 of us and you know what I said when she said she felt bad that I had to do all that? "No I'm only sad about you being not able to do the things you want to do, I actually LIKE doing it all right now because it makes me appreciate the things that you do even more, and I finally get ab opportunity to be your knight in shining armour".
June 1, 2015 - 4:41pmThis Comment
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