OMG I feel the same way. I had finally convinced myself I must be crazy. But then I get visual confirmation I'm right. Jesus it does suck and can make u feel inadequate. I have never in my life had problems until now. I've never doubted myself. I masturbate 2-4 times a day. I watch porn with or without him. He knows I do this. But he will pretend to be asleep and masturbate and if I move or anything he stops. Wtf is he intentionally trying to make me question my sanity? It feels like it. And therefore I feel like he's playing games with me. I don't understand.