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What would you have chosen? Would it had depended on how you found out? The details of my situation; he is straight, he didnt tell me about his fetishes until after we were discussing marriage. I am glad i know now! I have such a confusing batch of emotions about this. Note that i am sexually experienced and this didnt even shock me that much. I harbor the anger from the lies, and probably will for a while. Im sorry you didnt find out till soo much time and life had gone by. Im sorry.