Figured it was way past time for an update.
I caught him starting to message another female by text. Called her and confirmed it. I had all his stuff packed up and a friend beside me for moral support. This was about 3 weeks ago now. He came home from work and we had a discussion about everything. He tried to deny it at first, but finally admitted to it. I once again let him stay, but with certain conditions. He MUST go see a counselor, talk to me every day, let me know how things are going, and answer any questions I have about internet/computer/phone usage without snapping at me.
Last night, I asked him about why he's not been intimate or anything with me again, it's been awhile. He stated he's just been tired. But, when we went to bed, I brought the topic up again. He said that it's him and nothing to do with me. That he's just not interested in sex anymore. Not with me, not with anyone. He said he still loves me, as more than a friend (I asked him to specify) and that he wants to be with me. He says he still finds me attractive, but just isn't interested. He's mentioned wanting to get married in a couple years, but only when he's been drinking. When I ask him to talk about what's bothering him, what the problem is, he says it'll just upset me, and won't say anything further. I know he didn't mean to upset me by saying he wasn't interested in me, but it hurt that he said it.
Most days I'm lucky if I even get a friendly hug from him. Typically he comes home from work, asks how my day was, then gets into his video games. I go to bed earlier than him, and when he comes in, he just rolls right over and goes to sleep.
Every morning, since I leave 2 hours earlier than him, I give him a goodbye kiss and tell him I love him. I was feeling extremely down a couple days ago and just kinda said 'bye' from the doorway. He got a bit upset and insisted on the kiss and hug goodbye. He makes sure to tell me every morning that he loves me as well, and usually at least once every evening. The kisses to me just don't seem to mean much anymore, they're just a quick peck and nothing more. I've mentioned this to him, but he doesn't see anything wrong.
I'm really happy to have him around most days, but I still feel lonely even with him sitting next to me.
I guess I'm starting to get fed up with everything. I love him with all my heart, and could see myself happy with him. But it seems like I just keep feeling more depressed every day. I've gotten to the point that most nights I just lie there trying to fall asleep wishing I would never wake up again.
Part of me wants to kick him out, but another part is scared of what will happen if I do. I know I've got my own issues to deal with, but his seem to compound them.
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Figured it was way past time for an update.
April 15, 2011 - 1:54pmI caught him starting to message another female by text. Called her and confirmed it. I had all his stuff packed up and a friend beside me for moral support. This was about 3 weeks ago now. He came home from work and we had a discussion about everything. He tried to deny it at first, but finally admitted to it. I once again let him stay, but with certain conditions. He MUST go see a counselor, talk to me every day, let me know how things are going, and answer any questions I have about internet/computer/phone usage without snapping at me.
Last night, I asked him about why he's not been intimate or anything with me again, it's been awhile. He stated he's just been tired. But, when we went to bed, I brought the topic up again. He said that it's him and nothing to do with me. That he's just not interested in sex anymore. Not with me, not with anyone. He said he still loves me, as more than a friend (I asked him to specify) and that he wants to be with me. He says he still finds me attractive, but just isn't interested. He's mentioned wanting to get married in a couple years, but only when he's been drinking. When I ask him to talk about what's bothering him, what the problem is, he says it'll just upset me, and won't say anything further. I know he didn't mean to upset me by saying he wasn't interested in me, but it hurt that he said it.
Most days I'm lucky if I even get a friendly hug from him. Typically he comes home from work, asks how my day was, then gets into his video games. I go to bed earlier than him, and when he comes in, he just rolls right over and goes to sleep.
Every morning, since I leave 2 hours earlier than him, I give him a goodbye kiss and tell him I love him. I was feeling extremely down a couple days ago and just kinda said 'bye' from the doorway. He got a bit upset and insisted on the kiss and hug goodbye. He makes sure to tell me every morning that he loves me as well, and usually at least once every evening. The kisses to me just don't seem to mean much anymore, they're just a quick peck and nothing more. I've mentioned this to him, but he doesn't see anything wrong.
I'm really happy to have him around most days, but I still feel lonely even with him sitting next to me.
I guess I'm starting to get fed up with everything. I love him with all my heart, and could see myself happy with him. But it seems like I just keep feeling more depressed every day. I've gotten to the point that most nights I just lie there trying to fall asleep wishing I would never wake up again.
Part of me wants to kick him out, but another part is scared of what will happen if I do. I know I've got my own issues to deal with, but his seem to compound them.
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