Pat ElliottExpertHERWriterGuideBlogger(reply to Anonymous)
Hi Marilyn - I'm sorry to hear of this development, and understand your fears. It is really difficult to tell you from this end how long your sister will have because I don't have the full medical picture, and, of course, I'm not an oncologist. I really think you need to have a heart to heart talk with her primary oncologist and find out what her options are and get the doctor's thoughts on how much more treatment she is going to be able to withstand. I know these discussions aren't easy, but neither is being in the dark, and you seem like someone who would want to make the most of every moment that your sister has left.
Another reason to step forward and have the "talk" is so that you can have a voice in future decisions and help your sister make them. There is a branch of medicine you may not have heard of - Palliative Care - that might be a good option for her down the road. It comes into play at the end of life, but can start sooner. The goal is to make the patient's quality of life the best possible. This link has some good information and resources: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/palliativecare.html
In talking with patients, reading their blogs and working with families, I have consistently found that a key factor in how patients deal with their cancer, treatment and all that comes with it, is their own attitude and their sense of whether or not they have support from others. Perhaps if you put more focus on the quality of her time, and her comfort, it will help everyone, including your sister on a day-to-day basis, and lessen your fears too. I suspect you have a lot of pent up energy and want to do something to help. Let me know what you think of this idea or if you'd like information on more resources.
Take care,
Pat
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Hi Marilyn - I'm sorry to hear of this development, and understand your fears. It is really difficult to tell you from this end how long your sister will have because I don't have the full medical picture, and, of course, I'm not an oncologist. I really think you need to have a heart to heart talk with her primary oncologist and find out what her options are and get the doctor's thoughts on how much more treatment she is going to be able to withstand. I know these discussions aren't easy, but neither is being in the dark, and you seem like someone who would want to make the most of every moment that your sister has left.
Another reason to step forward and have the "talk" is so that you can have a voice in future decisions and help your sister make them. There is a branch of medicine you may not have heard of - Palliative Care - that might be a good option for her down the road. It comes into play at the end of life, but can start sooner. The goal is to make the patient's quality of life the best possible. This link has some good information and resources: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/palliativecare.html
In talking with patients, reading their blogs and working with families, I have consistently found that a key factor in how patients deal with their cancer, treatment and all that comes with it, is their own attitude and their sense of whether or not they have support from others. Perhaps if you put more focus on the quality of her time, and her comfort, it will help everyone, including your sister on a day-to-day basis, and lessen your fears too. I suspect you have a lot of pent up energy and want to do something to help. Let me know what you think of this idea or if you'd like information on more resources.
November 16, 2010 - 5:31pmTake care,
Pat
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