Shingles is painful and until the sores scab over it is considered to be contagious to people who have not had chicken pox. It totally makes sense that he would not be allowed to play contact sports while he has shingles.
It is painful, but there are medications to help with that. It is not surprising that your fiance would be unhappy and frustrated, however only you can decide how much bad behavior you are willing to tolerate. Pain makes people testy, but it is also sometimes used as an excuse to mistreat others.
I suggest you think about whether you want to marry someone who is so mean to you when he is ill and you are separated. Both circumstances are likely to come up again, and if you have good boundaries and expect decent treatment, your fiance should respect that. If you allow him to treat you poorly now, you are in for a rough ride. If he is so stressed about his parents and illness that he is having difficulty coping, perhaps a little short term counseling would help him learn some stress relief and coping strategies.
Shingles will heal. I would talk to your fiance very directly about his behavior and how it makes you feel, and then I suggest you think about what kind of a life and what kind of a marriage you want to have. Only you can answer those questions.
Good luck and thank you for writing. If we can help further, please let us know.
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Hi Loving
Shingles is painful and until the sores scab over it is considered to be contagious to people who have not had chicken pox. It totally makes sense that he would not be allowed to play contact sports while he has shingles.
It is painful, but there are medications to help with that. It is not surprising that your fiance would be unhappy and frustrated, however only you can decide how much bad behavior you are willing to tolerate. Pain makes people testy, but it is also sometimes used as an excuse to mistreat others.
I suggest you think about whether you want to marry someone who is so mean to you when he is ill and you are separated. Both circumstances are likely to come up again, and if you have good boundaries and expect decent treatment, your fiance should respect that. If you allow him to treat you poorly now, you are in for a rough ride. If he is so stressed about his parents and illness that he is having difficulty coping, perhaps a little short term counseling would help him learn some stress relief and coping strategies.
Shingles will heal. I would talk to your fiance very directly about his behavior and how it makes you feel, and then I suggest you think about what kind of a life and what kind of a marriage you want to have. Only you can answer those questions.
Good luck and thank you for writing. If we can help further, please let us know.
September 23, 2010 - 6:24pmThis Comment
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